‘Puter’s Tax Dollars At Work
‘Puter’s governor, David Paterson (D-NY), snuck a little noticed provision into his budget proposal for next fiscal year. Fortunately, the New York Post decided to actually read the budget before legislators vote on it. The provision requires state social service agencies to withhold union dues from payments to individual daycare operators.* This check off authority diverts taxpayer funds from service providers directly into the pockets of public sector unions.
In a horrendous New York economy, with outright collapse looming, Governor Paterson determined it necessary to continue to lavish benefits on his union masters rather than address the structural budgetary issues imperiling New Yorkers. And the principal structural budget issue for New York is its untouchable and lavish public sector salaries and benefits.
Transparent kickbacks like Governor Paterson’s gift to unions are, if not illegal, certainly immoral.
*’Puter leaves aside for the moment then-governor Eliot Spitzer’s (D-NY) absolutely whore-rific decision to allow public sector unions to organize private providers of daycare services, and the underlying ACORN-SEIU connection.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.