New York Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo (son of past New York governor Mario Cuomo) should be investigated for possible ethical violations, including criminal abuse of his office. If Mr. Cuomo is found to have breached his ethical obligations, he should resign his position immediately, and be barred from running for governor.

New York politicians wallow in a swamp of fetid, soul-stealing corruption, both the Democrats and the Republicans. But, mostly the Democrats, as there are tons more of them in this blue state workers’ paradise. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a corrupt or debauched pol in New York. The list is long, and includes former governor Eliot Spitzer (hookers, misuse of prosecutorial power against AIG), current governor David Paterson (extramarital affairs, cocaine use, abuse of office), former state controller Alan Hevesi (misuse of government employees, possible pension fund fraud), Rep. Charlie Rangel (lying on disclosure forms, enriching himself at public expense), Rep. Eric Massa (gay sex harassment above and beyond the call of duty, moonbattery), former state senate majority leader Joseph Bruno (influence peddling), current assembly majority leader Sheldon Silver (general ass-hattery, likely though unproven influence peddling), and the list goes on and on.

Why pick on Attorney General Cuomo? Maybe because it is plausible that he used his office and its prosecutorial power to bully sitting Gov. Paterson out of the 2010 governor’s race, a race in which AG Cuomo intends to run himself. Electing someone to office who has even the appearance of impropriety on his professional resume is derelict at this time of crisis. New York is teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, and the last thing it needs is a third compromised governor in a row.

In addition to AG Cuomo’s possible abuse of office, ‘Puter distrusts political dynasties. Each successive Kennedy was worse than the one he survived, and each successive Kennedy generation was worse than the preceding generation. ‘Puter’s betting it’s much the same with the Cuomos. Also, ‘Puter firmly believes that AG Cuomo’s tenure at HUD was at least partially responsible for the subprime crisis that helped bring about the almost-collapse of the banks in 2008.

‘Puter cannot believe that there is not a fiscally conservative Democrat in this state who is not corrupt, stupid or dynastic. Find that person and put him up for governor.* He’ll win, and the state will win as well.

*Two points. First, The masculine is the correct gender for unknown persons, and includes the feminine gender as well. Second, ‘Puter assumes that only a Democrat will win statewide elected office, short of Rudy Giuliani running.

UPDATE: Apparently, great minds agree Cuomo’s not cut out for the governorship. H/T Instapundit.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.