Gormogon operative GD writes in and says he understands the Department of Education intends to purchase 27 shotguns.

Now, back a ways, operative MC popped into the Castle rumpus room and asked a similar question as to why the IRS would be buying so many shotguns. The Czar pointed out that the IRS has many law enforcement functions, and goes out on raids and kicks down doors and everything. They are, of course, the famous “revenuers” of Ozark fame. Ah, MC replied, that makes sense.

Okay, so why the Department of Education?

Turns out, they too have a law enforcement division. The Remmie 870s are being purchased for the DoEd’s Office of Inspector General, which also conducts powerhouse law enforcement functions and is run by a nice woman who looks like the sort of person who works the children’s desk at the Muscovy Public Library.

Turns out that the whole thing is legit, too—the OIG of the DoEd (following along?) is directed by law to conduct law enforcement operations, but was not given any firearms. They scraped along with used equipment, but the older weapons are literally falling apart. Hence, they are purchasing 27 new ones. Nice ones, too, but like the IRS weapons one asks: why the modified choke? You have a 12 gauge, you go all out, baby.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.