“Hey Czar, is it true the City of Chicago wants the National Guard to patrol the streets of the City to curb the outbreak of firearm violence there?” Well, you might think so if you swallowed whole whatever the popular … Continue reading →
So we have already discussed the increasing encroachment of government into our daily lives: from the ObamaCare bill, to declaring carbon dioxide to be a dangerous substance (quick, stop exhaling), to regulating salt in our diets to a brand new … Continue reading →
Fox News is reporting that Republican Governor Charlie Crist of Florida will now run as an independent for the Florida U.S. Senate seat. Why the sudden urge to run as an independent? The answer to that question would be Marco … Continue reading →
As the Gormogons’ arbiter, Confucius, the Œcumencial Volgi, hereby declares the Mandarin and the Czar to have won this year’s hockey bet. Congratulations, and enjoy your booty. Sleestak, you may unlock the slivovitz locker and unchain the vodka barrels. Confucius, … Continue reading →
Black workhand beats white supremacist to death in Mississippi. The Czar has a strange, mixed feeling on this one. Yes, it is wrong to have killed the guy. But on the other hand, the irony here is…well, let’s just go … Continue reading →
But funny. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →So, Puter and the Czar have been talking about Arizona, la migra, etc. For my part, I’d like to just note that American Hispanics’ support for Democrats is not tied to immigration perhaps quite as closely as is implied. Hispanics … Continue reading →
Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain, that is. These are the four dead men walking of the European Union. Yesterday, rating agencies downgraded the sovereign debt of Greece and Portugal, with Greece achieving junk status, and now paying over 13% to … Continue reading →
Wow. I mean, wow. In an unprecedented step, the Russian State Archive published documents showing how Soviet leader Joseph Stalin approved the World War Two massacre proposed by his secret police henchman Lavrenty Beria. Other prominent members of the ruling … Continue reading →
‘Puter makes the following offer to Harold Meyerson, after reading his column in this morning’s Washington Post. FedEx’s truck drivers should be allowed to organize under the NLRA (as opposed to the currently applicable Railway Labor Act), so long as … Continue reading →
Here and elsewhere, the Czar sees a lot of discussion about the recent events in Arizona. Of course, if you are a Democrat, it is the Anti-Immigration Law; if you are a Republican, it is the Anti-Illegal Immigration Law. A … Continue reading →
I was kicking around the idea of posting about the Arizona Immigration bill and ‘Puter just provided a good segue. Immigration is a huge problem in the U.S. and elected leaders in Washington have done little to nothing to help. … Continue reading →
Not the Gormogons, ahem, approve of beating racist jackasses down, but we are amused by this story: So a punk rocker named Jimmy Gestapo plays a gig at a Jewish-owned club in Philadelphia. And a few hard-core fans show up … Continue reading →
New York’s budget is almost a month late. This despite (or perhaps because of) a $9 billion budget deficit. And what are ‘Puter’s elected betters doing? Passing a budget? Nope. They’re stealing our organs. Assemblyman Richard Brodsky, a Westchester County … Continue reading →
Eugene Robinson rants against Arizona’s new anti-illegal immigration law in today’s Washington Post. The most polite thing ‘Puter can say about Mr. Robinson’s argument is that it betrays a schizophrenia on the issue. You see, Arizona is “racist, arbitrary, oppressive, … Continue reading →
Not one but two separate Gormogon Operatives pointed ‘Puter to the horrific Hello Kitty branding effort, pictured, right. What in the heck was Kotex’s marketing deaprtment thinking here? Nothing says comfort and absorption like strapping a kitty to your kitty? … Continue reading →
1. Work is bat-sh!t crazy. 2. The Washington Capitals suck. 3. It’s snowing outside ‘Puter’s window. Seriously. 4. At least there’s Glee tonight! Czar and ‘Puter like to watch Glee with a handle of vodka (each) and a big bowl … Continue reading →
And so CNN has an interview with Antwone Fisher on what boys need to learn in order to become men. As it turns out, the interview wasn’t too bad: tie a tie, shave properly, and so on. But things are … Continue reading →
Via John Derbyshire on the Corner. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Dan Henninger from the WSJ has a great OpEd video below. He makes a number of excellent points, but the one I like the best and wish the regular news outlets would pick up on is that it is much … Continue reading →
Otherwise, we’d be having to manhunt the Czar in England. Why? The fair English rose at right would be a Czar magnet. Let’s go down the list of desiderata: • Cute Laura Hall, 20 Sure, cute enough. plus a low-cut … Continue reading →
One thing that still astounds the Czar is the ability of the Left to hear things never said and see things never done, and in such a colorful way. Check this out. Bloomberg has a story about the newly designed … Continue reading →
Hey, fans of 24. Here’s what your god Jack Bauer really looks like after staying up for 24 hours. Remind the Czar to tell you about the time Kiefer Sutherland woke us up back in college. Ripped off from WWTDD. … Continue reading →
There is bad news and good news on the Iceland-is-again-destroying-the-world front. The bad news is that each time Eyjafjallajökull (pronounced “lind-say-LO-han”) erupts, a more powerful volcano named Katla explodes within six months. The good news, of course, is that Katla … Continue reading →
…and demagogue but that doesn’t mean he was wrong about everything. Writes Ron Radosh: That is precisely why the new article by Jennifer Delton is of such importance. For the first time, a young historian at a major liberal arts … Continue reading →
…but this is a pretty funny—and way more moral—form of revenge. The site revolutionislam.com, which threatened Matt Stone & Trey Parker with death for their Muhammad-themed jokes in the 200th episode of South Park, was hacked thusly: Update: Looks like the … Continue reading →
Asks Friend of the Gormogons Jonah Goldberg over at Commentary. You’ll want to check it out, comment, etc. Possible commentary coming later… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →If you’re new to the Castle Gormogon, you may not quite realize some basic facts about the Czar of Muscovy: – He refers to himself in the third person singular half the time, and the other half inexplicably uses the … Continue reading →
A story you likely have not heard, because it makes the mainstream media look increasingly more stupid about politics: the Tea Party movement in Idaho has endorsed a democrat for US representative. And it happened. Walt Minnick, a lifelong democrat, … Continue reading →
Confucius is a bit of a crank on the topic of DDT and how its effective banning by green groups has led to something like a hundred million unnecessary deaths by malaria since 1972, 90% of whom were likely pregnant … Continue reading →
Yes, it seems that we are once again redesigning the $100 bill. About time, too, because the last major redesign happened only a couple years ago. New anti-counterfeiting measures will consist of a microlensed security ribbon and vanishing Liberty Bell. … Continue reading →
’Puter argues that potential Supreme Court justice and current Solicitor General Elena Kagan’s refusal to self-identify as a lesbian damages her credibility (and maybe a little less reasonably that this disqualifies her from the Court). Confucius, your Œcumenical Volgi, tends … Continue reading →
It’s an open secret that Elena Kagan, high on President Obama’s list for a Supreme Court appointment, is a lesbian. When blogger Ben Domenech commented that Ms. Kagan would be the first openly gay Supreme Court Justice, the White House … Continue reading →
Patty-Patty Buke-Buke* sees white ethnonationalism on the rise. Which, over the years, he seems to think the key to preserving the (white?) Republic against the multi-culti left-wing onslaught. This is, of course, insane. However much one may deplore the injustices … Continue reading →
This is some pretty good satire, reminiscent of In Living Color and Chapelle’s Show, and dynamite screen presence. Enjoy. More at her YouTube channel here. No idea what her politics are, so don’t bitch to the Volgi if you’re offended … Continue reading →
GorT has been holed up in the lab trying to to get the replicators working faster to replace all the microfuses that I’m blowing over taxes. A few issues are at hand: First, the media and the general public are, … Continue reading →
We are all children now! Your benevolent governmental paternal unit has determined that Americans are too stupid to determine what they can shove in their pie holes, so they’ve made our food choices easier by eliminating all the “bad” or … Continue reading →
Quoth Eric Cartman: “How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?” The California Highway Patrol-person tasked with this search must have some sympathy for Cartman’s plaintive lament. WWPD? (What would Ponch do?). … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin saw the headline, “Iranian Missile May Be Able To Hit U.S. by 2015” for this article from Reuters today and my first thought was wow, that has to be the slowest missile ever developed. I mean really what … Continue reading →
A California state senator has been receiving threats and ill-tempered messages for his personal investigation into California State University’s hiring of Sarah Palin for an appearance there. Seems he wants details of the financial terms and other conditions of the … Continue reading →
Царь наш, In regards to your earlier post about the obscurantist ẖojatoleslām who was blaming seismic activity on the wiles of wanton women.* Obviously, sure, Eyjafjallajökull’s eruption was caused by Mandy’s Tectonomat® because he needed to short some airline stocks … Continue reading →
Say that three times fast. From adept J.S.. Check it out. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →When President Clinton warns the world about rising extremism in the US, you should listen. After all, this is the man who practically invented secret right-wing conspiracies out to destroy him. The message is a little weird to have delivered … Continue reading →
According to this article from Foxnews.com women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes, or at least that is what senior Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi believes. First off you goofy throw-back to the 7th … Continue reading →
Better get scared America, because the Tea Partiers are finally arming themselves, and this can only mean trouble! Or so two hysterical journalists at the Washington Post believe, anyway. Bottom line: “dozens” (whatever that means) of people attending a rally … Continue reading →
Check it out. Here is a picture of the Eyjafjallajökull volcano erupting. Is this wild or what? Mandarin, ya did it again! The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was … Continue reading →
Boston Herald.com: Revolutionary War Battles Recalled on Patriots Day. BBC News.com: George Washington’s $300,000 library book fine. One supposes we each remember the Revolutionary War in our own way. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и … Continue reading →
Granted that almost all of Obama’s exciting, innovative “change we can believe in” turns out to have been exhumed direct from the sclerotic Seventies to stagger around like a rotting zombie in polyester bell-bottoms from some straight-to-video sequel, there’s still … Continue reading →
The Volgi was kind enough to forward on a fascinating comparison between the MSM’s reaction to President Bush’s entreaty to go to Mars and their reaction to President Obama’s identical plea. Remember it? Basically, Bush wants to go to Mars; … Continue reading →
The New York Times continues to display a stunning lack of basic economic knowledge. Today, the editorial board argues for giving bankruptcy judges the power to modify the terms and conditions of first mortgages, in the name of helping out … Continue reading →
GorT accepts the Terms and Conditions presented by the Czar and offers the following: In the event the Capitals lose out prior to the Blackhawks, GorT is prepared to send: To the Czar, a Twilight novella (one, it’s his hidden … Continue reading →
Both the Washington Post and Fox News’ headline writers blow it today. Here are the headlines that caught ‘Puter’s attention: WaPo headline: Obama Extends Hospital Visitation Rights to Same-Sex Partners of Gays Fox News headline: White House Orders Hospitals to … Continue reading →
What a relief. I don’t know about you, but I lie awake nights worrying about Canadian uranium. I know these people. I grew up there. You have no idea what they’re capable of doing. If Sidney Crosby hadn’t scored that … Continue reading →
In 1928, D.H. Lawrence wrote a poem entitled “How Beastly the Bourgeois Is” in which he compared the middle class to a “fungus, living on the remains of a bygone life/sucking his life out of the dead leaves of greater … Continue reading →
Know and hear all ye who quake and tremble in terror before the Czar of Muscovy that indeed we enter the hockey playoff season. And, as last year, the Czar is delighted to the point of forcing undesirables to march … Continue reading →
Gormogon Operative D.T. writes in, tangentially on ‘Puter’s hot man-on-man love for Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ). D.T. asks: In reading about your beloved Governor Christie (pbuh) and the effupedness of the NJ budget, I’ve been meditating about the overwhelming burden … Continue reading →
Correspondent E.F. writes in response to ‘Puter’s post on Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ). ‘Puter’s correspondent disagrees with ‘Puter’s take, and puts together a vigorous defense of his position. E.F. states: Wisest Gormogon Puter It can never hurt to flatter your … Continue reading →
The national foreclosure rate was 3.3 percent in February – this is a 51% year-over-year increase and the number of new mortgage problem loans remains at a five-year high. The total number of failing first-lien mortgages and REOs exceed 7.9 … Continue reading →
Dr. J writes back, and the Volgi should take note: Czar, I continue to be impressed with your aerospace engineering prowess and understanding of Slavic politics. Truth be told, I am the son of an old cold warrior who was … Continue reading →
Confucius* has some things to say about the repercussions of the shocking loss of most of the senior officials in the Polish government—near Katyń no less—but they’ll have to wait for a more propitious moment. Confucius would like to make … Continue reading →
Gormogon favorite Rachel Weisz. She’s gonna be in some new Jackie O biopic or other. So there’s your news hook. Let’s all enjoy this picture, shall we? Shh. Shh. She’s pretty like a princess. You’re welcome. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask … Continue reading →
Word cloud of today’s front page from Tagxedo, via Borepatch. Some crazy stuff going on in there. “Die Ghettoputer?” Either that’s a really weird German feminine noun, or he’s sending himself death threats again… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →
Except, of course, your Gormogons. Gormogon operative D.F. inquires from his acre in the Hobbit Shire, regarding ‘Puter’s take on Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ): Watching Gov. Christie rebut that old ‘it is for the children’ business makes me think he … Continue reading →
The always awesome Royal Surgeon Dr. J wrote the Czar to thank him for an unsually sensitive treatment of the Smolensk crash; but the good doctor—who attempted to cure the Czar’s hypovolemic shock with leeches, which wound up being a … Continue reading →
EC writes in to ask where we’ve been on the Smolensk crash. EC is correct; we have been neglectful. We extend our deepest sympathies to the families and friends of all the crash victims, and deeply regret the terrible loss … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s correspondent Uncle Jay (of Listen to Uncle Jay fame) forwarded a link to this New York Times story on ObamaCare’s implementation. In its haste to cram poorly drafted health care reform legislation down our throats, Congress inadvertently ordered itself … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s got a new crush: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie (R-NJ). Well, maybe not a full-fledged crush. More like a deep and abiding respect coupled with a fierce loyalty. Why, you ask? Read Bill McGurn in today’s Wall Street Journal. … Continue reading →
So, you’re going to be infiltrated by agents provocateurs of the Left. Let me suggest one strategy that might be effective. If anyone starts up with some sort of bigoted crap, kick his ass. You can’t be too careful. (Or … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been doing some more thinking about unions. ‘Puter knows. He’s a broken record. If you don’t like it, get your own danged blog where you can write about Hello Kitty, unicorns and gay pride parades. If you do, send … Continue reading →
Operative GD writes in (quickly, but we know our loyal operatives wait with baited breath for the next missive from the Castle) with some observations about the intel business: I think another significant issue with our current intel effort is … Continue reading →
Brad Thor over at Big Journalism makes some interesting and accurate points about portions of our intelligence system. However, after reading it, there is one glaring issue that he left unvoiced. Specifically, the field of engagement has changed. We are … Continue reading →
Miami teachers’ union members have staged a sickout to protest working conditions. What’s the horrible work condition? It’s something every single non-unionized private sector employee copes with just fine: merit pay. The Florida legislature passed by an overwhelming margin, and … Continue reading →
Wait, no, that’s not right. That’s the sort of thing Czar blows his entire disability check on every month down at the Manhole. ‘Puter’s always wondered what goes on in there, as the windows are all blacked out. Czar refuses … Continue reading →
Our plan to surreptitiously undermine world governmental entities as install ourselves as a Ruling Pentavirate proceeds apace. Our plan to crater worker productivity by introducing our readers to Texts From Last Night already bears fruit. Gormogon Operative J.R. writes as … Continue reading →
As evidenced by photographic evidence, the feline population is plotting to overthrow the government and install Hello Kitty as Our Benign Despotic Leader. First Commandant Mister Mittens oversees ammunition stockpiling under the watchful gaze of Hello Kitty’s benevolent (yet silent) … Continue reading →
You do know that doth is singular, and as a result, your verb is not in agreement with your subject. Go to hell. Actually, you are right, and the Czar would change it if he had the muscle to do … Continue reading →
You know you want to read this: Segways used for sniper target practice Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →The GOP is on the brink of sweeping through this November’s elections. That is, of course, assuming they don’t blow it. Good omen? A rejuventated party, with focus, goals, and a direction that doesn’t just rely on doing the opposite … Continue reading →
The topic of this post has been rattling about in my head for a number of weeks and with some recent purchases and events, it’s been reinforced so I decided to try to get it out there. It’s all about … Continue reading →
After The Gormogons, and all our blogrollees is Texts from Last Night. Probably NSFW for many work places (language, not imagery), unless of course you’re the Ukranian who stokes the four furnaces in the Castle’s basement. And ‘Puter’s favorite entry … Continue reading →
‘Puter received two interesting pieces of feedback related to his musings on the Maureen Dowd’s proclaimed (stridently so) “Catholicism.” First, a correction that arrived in ‘Puter’s master suite at the Castle inscribed on Dat Ho, who was unceremoniously tossed through … Continue reading →
News Item. Mary had a little lambWhose fleece was white as snow.And everywere that Mary went,That lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day,Which was against the rule.It made the children laugh and playTo see a … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Maureen Dowd righteously plays More-Catholic-Than-Thou in today’s New York Times op-eds on the topic of the Roman Catholic Church’s pedophilia scandal. Some of Ms. Dowd’s criticisms are fairly made (i.e., pedophilia has damaged the Church’s reputation; certain individuals covered up … Continue reading →
Two school districts, one in California and one in Iowa, have instituted anti-bullying programs in their schools. “Great news, ‘Puter!”, I can hear you say. “What’s the problem?” Well, the programs are targeted at teacher-on-teacher bullying. ‘Puter can only assume … Continue reading →
The Mandarin, being the benevolent overlord to billions of people on this planet and a couple of others that we can’t mention here, discovered this news story about a new web based service that is bound to be the next … Continue reading →
… The Washington Post editorial page steps in it today. Eugene Robinson writes an opinion piece concerning the ramapant youth violence in Ward 8, the poorest section of DC. Not coincidentally, Mayor-for-Life Marion “The Bitch Set Me Up” Barry is … Continue reading →
In ‘Puter’s estimation, this post’s title is a more accurate descriptor of the New York Times‘ current journalistic standards than its stated motto. One need look no further than the NYT’s knowingly misleading coverage of the ongoing pedophilia scandal engulfing … Continue reading →
Well, the Gormogons’ March Madness is over, and while it wasn’t the extravaganza of last years (you do the math, smart guys), we are proud to declare the winner is Hello Kitty, whose insanity-inducing blank stare drove Jenny McCarthy into … Continue reading →
Pick a mainstream media newsroom at random. There is probably a conversation like this going on within: “Gareth, did you read that 6% of Tea Party members are black?” “Yeah, Cody…and African Americans make up almost 13% of the country.” … Continue reading →
It has been years since the Czar underwent NBC counseling for some outrageous parties in the past, but he still feels reasonably okay with nuclear weapon strategy. Perhaps not as much as yon Volgi—who invented fission to appease the Duke … Continue reading →
‘Puter broad-sided a topic that has been skulking about the Czar’s brain for some time now, when he writes these awful [liberal] programs are initially well-intentioned, and a direct result of the prevailing liberal view of government. That is, the … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative G.D. writes in concerning ‘Puter’s post on foreclosures from his undercover posting as an usher at the Globe Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon. Thus spake G.D.: Oh, wisest of all ‘puters, I couldn’t agree more. Ultimately, people need to understand … Continue reading →
Or several thousand laws. At least that’s what the New York Times seems to think. The New York Times editorial writers’ Sign of the Apocalypse of the Day is foreclosures, and the inability of current government programs to effectively combat … Continue reading →
Coming soon: 100 GB and 120 GB BluRay writeable discs for home computer storage. ‘Puter continues to hope against hope that his 8-inch floppies will still be compatible, but it looks even grimmer. And he still has boxes of those … Continue reading →
Happy Easter from the Gormogons. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →The Czar hath returned from the Muscovy Odioplex, having taken the Цесаревич to see Clash of the Titans. The film is getting an odd mix of positive and negative reviews but the little guy really liked the 1981 original and … Continue reading →
Dr. J writes in after reading the latest Castle insider scoop that our prepublication review board approved earlier this week: Why is it that only The Czar and ‘Puter have the privilege of having sidekicks?Surely the Notorious OEV, the devious … Continue reading →
A urologist in Florida has placed a sign on his office door advising Obama supporters to seek treatment elsewhere. That’s pretty dumb. Obviously, a doctor cannot necessarily refuse medical treatment to anyone, but he can refuse to see non-emergency patients … Continue reading →
