If you’re new to the Castle Gormogon, you may not quite realize some basic facts about the Czar of Muscovy:

– He refers to himself in the third person singular half the time, and the other half inexplicably uses the first person singular as we see fit.

– He thinks that journalists tend to be the least qualified creatures on the planet to report the news.

– He also loathes Hollywood celebrity worship, and while we enjoy a good film, or even a bad one that lacks pretense, actors are little more than dimwitted meat puppets who should read their lines and otherwise shut the foxtrot up.*

So it is on that last point that we enjoy Ed Driscoll’s excellent diatribe on why popular celebrities are so hated by Americans now. Very well done, very short to read, and it manages to go its entire, brief length without mentioning Sean Penn…something we have been unable to do.

* The Czar has taken criticism for this position in the past…invariably from people who do not actually know professional actors personally. The Czar has known more than a few. He is much more qualified to generalize them as dimwitted meat puppets, and the good actors will be the first to admit this about their peers.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.