Why Does Iceland Hate White People?
There is bad news and good news on the Iceland-is-again-destroying-the-world front.
The bad news is that each time Eyjafjallajökull (pronounced “lind-say-LO-han”) erupts, a more powerful volcano named Katla explodes within six months.
The good news, of course, is that Katla is shitloads easier to spell and pronounce.
Evidently, eruptions of Eyjafjallajökull in 920, 1612, and 1821-1823 always resulted in eruptions of Katla six months later.
You should of course realize that the Mandarin’s Volcanatic Magmafier was operating each time. Eyjafjallajökull makes sense; but the Czar must remember to ask the Mandarin…why Katla?
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.