A Gormogon Phone App
Rejoice, followers and bastard non-followers!
The Mandarin has released one of his many, famous mind control applications as an iPhone app!
With a couple of taps, you can direct your iPhone toward anyone and seize control of their mind.
It is, however, only available at the Droid Marketplace. No one is sure why he would be the only person to sell an iPhone app at a place you cannot download it from, but hey… he is the inscrutable one.
Search for the app under the name VGhJcyBBcFAgaVMgTm9UIEF2QWlMYUJsRSBGb1IgdEhlIGlQYWQ=.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.