‘Puter’s favorite columnist E.J. Dionne takes on the brewing Tea Party/NAACP dustup in his WaPo column today.

Let’s discuss the vertigo inducing mental gymnastics present in this particular E.J. Dionne column, shall we?

1. Mr. Dionne claims a need to have a “conversation” led by the NAACP about racism and the Tea Party. ‘Puter’s down for that, so long as we can have a “conversation” about the overt racism in the NAACP, the Congressional Black Caucus, the New Black Panther Party and the Justice Department.

2. “The Tea Party is motivated primarily by right-wing ideology, not by racism.” Thanks for that slap, Mr. Dionne. It’s similar to saying, “E.J. Dionne’s writings are primarily the result of his unthinking support for the liberal agenda, not his inherent brain damage.” See how that works? Mr. Dionne called the Tea Partiers racist in a very nice manner, similar to how ‘Puter called Mr. Dionne stupid in an equally nice way.

3. “The NAACP is doing what conservatives have done for decades in demanding that liberals and progressives separate themselves from left-wing extremists who trashed America, burned flags and praised foreign dictators.” Fair enough. The only problem is that ‘Puter cannot recall a meaningful instance where the left has distanced itself from far left dictators and other various hatemongers. See, e.g., President Obama’s relationship with Bill Ayers and Rev. Jeremiah Wright. Or the Congressional Black Caucus visiting Cuba to suck up to a murderous dictator. Or Rev. Jesse Jackson’s infamous Hymietown remarks. Each of these people is still beloved and active in the Democrat party. ‘Puter’s happy to throw any racists in the Tea Party under the bus just as soon as Mr. Dionne and his leftist allies throw President Obama, the Congressional Black Caucus and Rev. Jackson to the wolves.

4. Mr. Dionne quotes NAACP President Ben Jealous as stating: “We’ve seen the signs, we’ve heard the slurs, and all we’re asking is for you to act responsibly and say there’s no space for bigots in the Tea Party.” This might be true. However, if Mr. Jealous’ characterization of the NAACP’s demand is accurate, why is he simultaneously refusing to release the text of the resolution condemning the Tea Party passed by the NAACP membership yesterday? And why was the live web feed of the NAACP’s debate on the Tea Party resolution cut off midstream? In ‘Puter’s experience, people who are hiding relevant information are usually liars.

5. Mr. Dionne then devotes the remainder of his column to bashing Sarah Palin. What Sarah Palin has to do with the NAACP and allegedly racist Tea Partiers, ‘Puter has no idea. ‘Puter’s best guess is Mr. Dionne’s seeking the Left’s Pavlovian response to Sarah Palin. That is:

Given: Sarah Palin is evil. Sarah Palin is associated with “x.” Therefore, “x” is evil.

Mr. Dionne does his readers a service here by demonstrating the very guilt by association technique of which he self-righteously complains in his article. “Guilt by association is wrong,” writes Mr. Dionne. Unless, of course, the smeared person is conservative.

E.J. Dionne is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.