It is enjoyable when one liberal insults another.

And so liberal jackass Joel Stein of Time attempts to write a piece discussing how immigration has transformed his home town, hoping it would make people “better equipped to debate people on the other side of the immigration issue.”

See, conservatives are all bastards who want all immigration cut off because they are cold, heartless racists, reasons Mr. Stein. So Stein will explain how immigration is a good thing, as it indeed Indian immigration has renovated his stamping grounds of Edison, NJ.

Except the result…well, just wow. Apparently, Mr. Stein went home to Edison, looked around, and found a vibrant Indian culture had changed his stores, restaurants, and homes. And he hated it. The Czar found one of the less offensive elements to quote:

[W]e assumed all Indians were geniuses. Then, in the 1980s, the doctors and engineers brought over their merchant cousins, and we were no longer so sure about the genius thing. In the 1990s, the not-as-brilliant merchants brought their even-less-bright cousins, and we started to understand why India is so damn poor.

The rest is much worse. Much worse. And CNN’s heathcare journalist Rahul K. Parikh fires back a delightfully scathing rebuttal, condeming Stein’s piece for the racist excrement it is:

Have no illusions, sir. What you wrote was not funny, insightful, smart or unique. No. Every word, phrase, sentence and paragraph you produced did nothing more than distill the ancient, proud and diverse culture of India down to nothing more than clichés and stereotypes…So … because you weren’t funny or incisive, what’s your point? Are you trying to make Indians prove our worth to the fraternity that is America? Is your essay part of some kind of hazing? Put up with your callous insults, and we’ll be able to live in the frat house?

The smackdown Dr. Parikh hands Stein is, however, worth reading. But it raises a point all-too-familiar to conservatives: we like immigration just fine. Most of us are the children of immigrants, and as Dr. Parikh explains, ain’t nothing better than seeing a group of Indians come to America, become citizens, and then freaking excel at whatever they dream of doing.

Ironically, it is—ahem—the liberals who seem to have trouble with it. Whether it is seeing Mexicans as a necessary servant culture (how often have we heard the glib dismissal “doing the jobs Americans won’t do”) as if grateful we have Untermenschen to clean bathrooms and sweep up stores, or whether it is the ribald racism of Joel Stein’s terror of samosa, the liberal culture tends to be very good at demanding multiculturalism, diversity, and unchecked immigration—but not being so happy with the fact that immigrants tend to be, well, you know…foreigners. Always a clear sign: how often the Left accuses the Right of xenophobia. Just as Conservatives tend not to be the racist, fascist, unreasonable, unfeeling wingnuts who believe whatever spiritual nonsense comes along, we are also rarely the xenophobic snobs the Left exhibits.

Before the usual Operatives ask the Czar why liberals fear foreigners, it helps to view the liberal mindset as a chronically adolescent mindset. Know any 12-16-year-olds whose parents are from another country? The Czar has known, without exaggeration, hundreds. And they quite often reject their parents’s heritage. Not always, of course, but it is never difficult for you imagine the kids today dressing as American hip-hoppy as possible, over-compensating for their accent, and rolling their eyes or even renouncing the traditions, the languages, or the religions of their parents. Yes, the kids in our day did so as well.

Liberals, too, are often the sons and daughters of hard-working immigrants; immigrants who believed in the value of dollar, despised the taxation model, wanted good, clean schools, and felt if you wanted something bad enough, you worked for it until you earned it. No self-respecting immigrant would expect the government to just hand you stuff—that’s precisely the crap they left behind! The reader can realize right away where a liberal, expecting big government and entitlements and the need to help out low-income folks with other people’s money, would reject this, roll their eyes, or even renounce it.

Because their immigrant parents (or grandparents) would not tolerate the nonsense that folks like Mr. Stein spew out. Imagine his shock to travel back in time—and you know we can make that happen—and find himself in New York’s lower East side, and seeing the gentry grimace over the Yiddish spoken there, the kosher delis, and all the signs in a Hebraic alphabet. He would find his views well accepted by the snobs of the day, until they learned his last name.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.