One of the alleged JS operatives writes in:

Your top ten list made me think of VDH’s list from a couple of days ago.

If your writing reminds me of VDH, who is one of the conservative greats in this country, you know you are doing something right. Keep up the good work.

Thanks! Of course, his writing should remind you of the Czar. Doubtless the Czar is older by a couple of centuries at least. The Czar assumes you do not wonder if we are indeed the same person. If so, rest assured: Victor Davis Hanson does not refer to himself in the first person plural or third person singular (sometimes in the same sentence), and—to the best of our knowledge—he does not live in a Castle.

Well, maybe he does. But he probably doesn’t live with a robot.

Dr. J., as well, has this to add:

Dreaded and Awful Czar,

You left out my biggest recommendation (not listed) for President Obama:

Be nice to the little guys: He looks like a meanspirited tool when he mocks Joe the Plumber or Officer Crowley, or any of a number of regular American citizens who have substantive policy disagreements with him.

Best,
Dr. J.

This is a great point. To the Czar, and to you and probably most of our readers, this is all part of the same problem. You see, the President has concluded he is better than the rest of us. He is so much more highly educated than us, and has read so many more books than us, and has such a richer vocabulary than us. If he talks down to us, or uses big words, or looks disgusted when people talk to him, well…that’s because we’re ignorant rubes clinging to our guns or religion. Of course, when you consider that the average email we get contains more intelligence and forethought and wisdom than anything we’ve heard him actually say since he showed up as a state senator one day, it sort of makes him look like a…what’s the phrase we’re looking for? Ah, yes—it makes him look like a meanspirited tool.

And this, from ‘Puter:

‘Puter smells a Gormogon contest coming on! What say you, O Great and Lofty Czar?

Hey, the Volgi is the QuizMaster here. The Czar just participates once the rules are clear, and then the Mandarin wins it with something from left field. Remember the Mandarin’s haiku that summarized the entire plot of Blown Away in 17 syllables? Genius.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.