DT writes in:

Bewitching, Bedazzling, and Bewildering Czar,

It is obvious to your minions lackeys myrmidons operatives that at some future point you will appoint a leader for our great country (assuming, of course, that you wouldn’t take the pay cut to do it yourself). Until that time, might I ask who you would like to see run for that position – who you think would make a good president?

Me, I’m torn between ‘Puter’s man-crush Christie, Paul Ryan, and Harrison Ford from Air Force One.

What are your thoughts, Great One?

Great question; the Czar assures you all that he has no intention of doing it himself. But whom should we appoint? Tough call. We understand there have been Official and Serious Calls from the GOP for Governor Christie to review his future plans…a very good sign. And although he makes a lot of people nervous, including John Boehner, the Czar really thinks Paul Ryan has his head on straight. Rarely do we say it, but that’s a guy who should be in politics.

But 2012 is a ways off; and doubtless candidates will sit quietly until we see how bad the damage is to the 111th Congress in another few weeks. But one thing is certain: we shall watch carefully and report dutifully.

P.S. Myrmidons? Freaking awesome. DT is now in charge of the First Gormogon Myrmidon Division. Start recruiting, DT!

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.