Premature Launch…
Television station KFMB channel 8 is reporting on what they are calling a mysterious missile launch off the coast of southern California last night.
As of right now no one in the military is taking credit for the launch. But not to be daunted in finding an answer to who launched this missile the KFMB news team went to former U.S. Ambassador to NATO and former Deputy Secretary of Defense Robert Ellsworth.
Ellsworth is quoted as saying the following:
It didn’t appear to be a Tomahawk missile and said it would be safest to wait for definitive answers to come from the military.
Based on pure speculation, however, Ambassador Ellsworth said, with President Obama in Asia, perhaps this could have been a show of our military muscle.
“It could be a test firing of an intercontinental ballistic missile from a submarine underwater submarine, to demonstrate mainly to Asia, that we can do that,” he said, stressing that it was just a theory.
So let your Mandarin get this straight, first you caution that we should wait for an answer from the military and then in the next breath come up with some wild speculative cause for the sighting.
Well it is just as well that the esteemed Ambassador has come up with this theory, since it will spare the Gormogons from a potentially embarrassing visit from certain governmental agencies and the need to beat Dat Ho for spilling your Mandarin’s chocolate malt all over the launch control panel, I mean T.V. remote.
The Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century.
The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or Barry (who can be found in the Bestiary). When not in the Castle…well, frankly, nobody is quite sure where he goes.
The Mandarin popularized the fine art of “gut booting,” by which he delivers a powerful kick to the stomach of anyone that annoys him. Although nearly universal today, the act of gut booting or threatening someone or something with a gut boot is solely due to him.