We Always Had Our Suspicions
The Czar is inclined to agree with FotG Claire Berlinski that it does not matter whether the mainstream media acknowledges that Portland teenager Mohamed Osman Mohamud is a Muslim terrorist, because anybody more than two seconds into the story can figure this out for themselves.
No, what has the Czar most concerned with this story is the following comment from The LA Times:
The FBI later recovered…three articles, including one titled “Getting in shape without weights.” It seeks to introduce Pilates training to those preparing “physically for jihad.”
Okay. So the next time the Czar tells you to avoid pilates advocates, you know why.
In fact, if up to now you were taking a Pilates course, the Czar urges you to storm up to the instructor, punch him in the mouth, and say “Traitor.” He’ll absolutely know why.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.