Gents (and ‘Puter),

I wish you all a warm Merry Christmas* and a happy new year. Thanks for providing me with another year of insightful commentary, witty humor, and assorted buffoonery.

XOXO,

DT

*yes, I realize that the Czar once dictated, “every idiot who goes about with a ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.”. If I had a heart I’d be concerned.

The Czar swears he remembers nothing about such a quote. But it does, truth be told, sound like him—particularly the stake in the heart.

XOXO, we assume, is short for the binary representation 01011000 01001111 01011000 01001111, which sums up to 16. In Base 16, that results in 58 4F 58 4F, which sums up to 14E, or the number 334. These digits add up to 10, which is of course in binary equals 2. Since the Roman numeral for 10 is X, and we have two of them, we conclude XX times ten would be a hypothetical X0X0, making the recursive nature of the joke quite amusing.

Merry Christmas. We have great stuff coming in 2011, just as soon as we think of something witty and clever. Perhaps 2011 will be the year the Mandarin and Volgi both post something in the same month.

Meanwhile, erc is back to frighten you with this:

Your Czarness:

Please see the following solar still.

Manufactured to ISO 9002
NATO Stock no. 4610-66-144-2646

Energy Free! Aquamate Inflatable Solar Stills are light, compact, float and very easy to use. They utilize solar radiation to distill and collect pure drinking water from sea or impure water. The still will produce 500 to 2000 ccs (1 to 4 pints) of water per day and has been used by military and civilian services throughout the world for the past 40 years. Packs neatly away to 26 x 23 x 7cm. At a fraction of the cost of a mechanical or electrical unit this is an ideal addition to the grab bag for any ocean going yachtsman.

I don’t know if the US armed forces still buys these things, but during the Viet Nam era, they were standard equipment on some aircraft and some patrol boats.

I think in the tropics the they would probably yield about a quart and a half a day. I never had to use one, though, so no personal experience. The ones back then were not floating models but had either a crushable or foldable pan or bucket to catch the water. Again, in the tropics, not a lot of difference in the length of the days and nights, but pretty warm temperatures and pretty high humidity. These things mostly work on infrared, so clouds aren’t a huge deal.

I think that actually the main source of fresh water on the stereotypical “tropical island” might be (green) coconuts and fish. Note that raw marine fish is not “salty,” which is a pretty good trick for a critter that lives in a saline solution. Same with shellfish.

Now, on a quart and a half a day, two people wouldn’t want to be real active, so a single still wouldn’t be enough. But, I guess it would be better than nothing?

Anyway, thank you for the Earhart post. One of the great stories, like the Marie Celeste and of the Roanoke Colony. But the Gormogons probably have the answers to those also, somewhere in the Castle. / erc

Sheesh. Well, there goes the surprise for 2011. Yes, we know more about those than we care to admit. And if Ned Croatoan is reading this, you know what you did. Nevertheless, we will probably get around to explaining our involvement in those events soon enough. Volgi? Your thoughts?

A pre-made solar still is a convenient thing to have, if you conveniently happen to have one. Most of the survivalists the Czar drinks with, though, have no plans to fit this into their Altoid can survival kit. They simply assume they can make one in the field with a bit of polypropylene and some sticks, neither of which they carry. The Czar says: good freaking luck.

Other than that, we agree with your assessment that a pint of fresh water a day is better than nothing. But yes, you can obtain considerable supplies of fresh water from local flora and fauna than you will. Solar stills are ideal after you have procured several sources of drinking water and are in no danger of dehydration. Conversely, a portable solar still like you have here is way better on a life raft in the middle of the ocean, where you have little flora or fauna.

Also, regarding your comment about raw marine life not being salty, you may be surprised to know that raw human flesh is surprisingly salty, and indeed blood and sea water share many curious properties…almost the opposite of marine life, eh?

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.