If Only
If only, the Czar has been thinking, not once but twice.
And so, like every year, atheist groups are kvetching that municipalities are spending tax dollars purchasing, erecting, and maintaining Nativity scenes. Frankly, in a time when every collected tax dollar should be scrutinized for sanity, they are well within the rules to decry this. And, naturally, here come the pro-Christmas crowds bitching about the atheists trying to kill any public nativity scene. If only those people would pony up and put their own Nativity scenes on their front laws, you would (a) shut the atheists up about tax dollars promoting religious symbols, but (b) drive them freaking nuts with thousands of private displays everywhere they looked, with dozens on every residential street. Give the vocal atheists exactly what they want, but in such a way they choke on it. This is often the Czar’s favorite punishment: give them enough rope to hang themselves, and then lop their heads off with a sharp axe when they are distracted with the rope.
Now, we see Time magazine has oh-thank-God finally picked their Person of the Year. Millions of people were suggesting Julian Assange should be picked, and millions of people argued against him. Funny thing—millions of people do not read Time. Indeed, if only the people arguing about who Time should pick actually read that rag, they might be in significant financial shape. But once again, we have too many people who do not read the magazine deciding to comment on the choices. This is odd to the Czar. Who cares? Time is completely unimportant today. Let ‘em pick Sam Houston for all it matters.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.