‘Puter’s been watching Democratic shenanigans with a genuine mix of incredulity and schadenfreude. ‘Puter figured the mid-term elections were going to shake up the Democrats, but ‘Puter did not foresee this level of self-immolation. It’s as if the Democrat’s liberal wing is intent on cementing itself as a permanent rump party. Provided, of course, that the Republicans don’t screw the entire thing up, which they have a propensity for doing.

Lame Duck Session

‘Puter thinks the lame duck sessions should be done away with immediately. All reelected and newly elected congressmen should be sworn in immediately upon certification of the election results, taking office immediately. Sure, there would be a few contested races, but in all but a vanishingly small number of circumstances, this would be irrelevant to the control of either the House of the Senate.

Immediately taking office would prevent shenanigans like Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi are pulling. From voting on the DREAM Act (a/k/a illegal alien amnesty) to passing a budget which they had heretofore refused to even consider, the lame duck Democrats have shown a total disregard for the wishes of the American voters.

The sooner this archaic practice is put down for good, the better off the country will be.

Current Tax Rate Extension

Extending the current tax rates for two years, rather than raising them in the teeth of a recession, seems to be a no-brainer. Unless, of course, you’re a liberal Democrat. In that case, failure to aggressively stick it to wealth generators is an unforgivable sin.

In fact, it’s such a grave sin that President Obama has had to dispatch Vice President Joe Biden to tamp down a growing rebellion in the House and Senate. Liberal congressmen are threatening to scuttle the agreed-upon two year temporary extension. To which ‘Puter replies, Oh, please don’t throw me in that briar patch, Br’er Fox!”

Seriously? Really? ‘Puter sees the Democrats’ logic on this matter as follows:

We’ll show you RethugliNAZIcans! We’ll screw all Americans by causing everyone’s tax rates to go up on January 1, 2011!!! Then, when you Baby Killer Country Club Nazi Halliburton Fanny Bandits pass an extension out of the House as the first order of business in the new Congress, we Democrats will tie it up in the Senate, forcing vulnerable Democrat senators up for reelection in 2012 to cast politically untenable votes!!! Then, once enough of our (dwindling) Senate majority caves to preserve their skins, we’ll make President Obama veto it, even though he previously agreed in principle to the very extension he now would deny!!! That’ll show you Waterboarding Cheney Lovers!!1!

Because as the liberal and progressive solons would tell you, making yourselves appear unreasonable, petty and ignorant of America’s mood is a sure-fire ticket to cementing (1) reelection in 2012 and (2) a permanent majority.

As an aside, ‘Puter thinks the tax cut extension should be permanent, as it would remove uncertainty in the business environment, but this is the best deal Republicans were going to get in this Congress. As mentioned above, if Democrats want to try their luck in getting a better deal in the next Congress, ‘Puter welcomes them to try.

Unemployment Extension

Republicans were going to have to extend unemployment benefits, paid for or not, at least through the Christmas season. As a practical political matter, Americans do not want to hear about people getting shut off at Christmas. ‘Puter knows from experience that in many areas of the country, even before the housing meltdown, judges would not set foreclosure sale dates or issue warrants of eviction for the two weeks on either side of Christmas, regardless of how egregious the behavior of the tenants or owners. Republicans were simply recognizing this reality, and choosing to have the fight on better terms in the next Congress.

‘Puter’s opinion is that thirteen months is far too long an extension, for moral hazard reasons, but that it was a good trade.

Liberal/Progressive Disenchantment With Obama

This is where ‘Puter hunkers down and gorges himself on a heaping bowl of schadenfreude.

President Obama with the able assistance of liberal leadership in the House and Senate, managed to squander the goodwill of the American people in two short years. Not in 75 years has there been so thorough a renunciation of the liberal agenda in a midterm election.

But the problem can’t be with liberal dogma, cry the Democrats. The problem is that American voters are too stupid to understand that big government is the solution to any problem. The problem is that President Obama didn’t defend vigorously enough the Left’s articles of faith. The problem is that Fox News and Rush Limbaugh and their cronies lie about Democrats. Any possible solution is the answer, no matter how far-fetched, unless it involves examining core liberal assumptions.

Two quick examples of the phenomenon.

First, ‘Puter was listening to a local public radio call in show yesterday. The host had on a far left environmentalist decrying man’s inhumanity to Mother Earth. The discussion devolved into current agricultural practices, specifically concentrated feed lot operations. The hippie granola eater stated that concentrated feed lots lagoon the animal excrement, and that sometimes the lagoons breach, spilling offal into local waterways. This is true, though infrequently occurs. The patchouli-scented leftist then compared the runaway stream of animal spoor to Fox News. The host laughed, as if all right-thinking people know that Fox News is equivalent to a contaminating flood of excrement.

Second, one of ‘Puter’s thoughtful but very liberal friends was bad mouthing the President as failing to have advanced a sufficiently progressive agenda. ‘Puter, in a rare moment of charity, pointed out that President Obama passed the Health Care Act, probably the most progressive piece of legislation since the Johnson or Nixon Administration. ‘Puter’s friend told ‘Puter that he was crazy. The Health Care debacle was not in any manner progressive, as it did not go far enough. ‘Puter felt bad for his friend, as he apparently convinced himself against all evidence to the contrary that a majority of America thought ObamaCare had gone too far already.

‘Puter’s takeaway? The progressive/liberal wing of the Democrat party has become dangerously delusional, both to itself and to America. If the Democrats keep this act up for another two years, they will find themselves back in the wilderness for another 40 years, wondering what the Hell happened.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.