You know, for a guy who eats Jell-O with his bare hands and wanders naked a little too often around the public areas of the Castle for it to be an accident, ‘Puter is an impressively smart guy. His smackdown of the meltdown is dead-on perfect.

So the Czar would like to advance his argument one-step further. Why is it, exactly, that the Democratic slash Liberal slash Progressive personalities are melting down this way? What the hell is happening with them? Why are the outrageous lefties who elected Obama calling for a 2012 primary? Why is the President lashing out at his critics, and even using Joe Biden as his enforcer? Why are the Paul Krugmans of the world tearing their hair out over the President attempting to triangulate a little bit?

Frankly, being surprised by this behavior is like being astonished that wolves sometimes fight over the same scraps of food. These behaviors are part and parcel of those to whom they belong.

The irony, of course, is that the left is being decimated by the very conditions they create. And here is why.

Conservatives tend to view liberals through a conservative lens; that is, they judge liberals by the same measures as they judge themselves. And that creates all sorts of strange, seemingly inexplicable behaviors. In other words, conservatives tend to think of liberals simply as the opposite of conservatives. “We define them by who they are not.”

But when the liberals suffer setbacks, the cracks suddenly appear. Suddenly, the liberal discovers that not everybody shares all his views. Conservatives tend to exhibit homogeneity. Conservatives certainly do not look the same, live in the same place, or have the same jobs. But be honest: conservatives overwhelmingly tend to favor smaller government, merit-based opportunity, few taxes, strong national defense, lightly regulated capitalism and otherwise free trade, freedom of personal decision, and for the most part, a strong appreciation of religious faith. As a result, put a few conservative homes together on a street, and they all get along pretty well as neighbors.

Liberals make up everybody else. Like big government? You probably are a liberal. Favor strict regulation of big corporations? You probably are a liberal. Are you okay with government mandates limiting or rationing goods and services? Yeah, you guessed it. You probably are a liberal.

That does not make liberals homogenous. Think about that, and you immediately understand the problem. There is no typical liberal. A gay male is often a liberal, but he might in fact favor deregulation of industry. A vegetarian environmentalist is often a liberal, but she might despise the public option for healthcare. An anti-gun crusader is usually a liberal, but she might be deeply religious. A teen protestor might condemn the US military, but he may be skeptical about global climate change.

Indeed, most liberals tend to hold only a smattering of pet liberal opinions, and indeed line up quite well with conservatives on most other topics! You would be forgiven for not realizing that, because special interests tend to treat their interests as special…and not want to talk about anything other than how wrong you are. And some folks describe themselves with creative but meaningless titles as “fiscal conservatives but social liberals.”

Thus these folks cannot quite fully come to accept generally conservative positions, and therefore shun the majority. The Democrats recognize there is PR value (and votes) in being the party of people no one else will take, and therefore becomes a loose collection of highly diverse—and often incompatible—personalities and special interests. Vegan? No problem: vote Democratic and we will pay you to research tofu. Into S&M? No problem: vote Democratic and we will ensure your proclivities get compensated as performance art. Enviro? Get a tax credit for solar power if you vote from us. Whackjob? Well, there is a check for you somewhere here.

And what happens when the pressure is on? Conservatives, by their nature, tend to hold back to watch and see. When things get bad, they are able to organize and act en masse because, bottom line, they all share the same big picture.

But when the liberals suffer setbacks, the cracks suddenly appear. Suddenly, the liberal discovers that not everybody shares all his views. Liberal A loathes Israel but supports the idea that tax cuts for all paying levels will stimulate the economy; his neighbor, Liberal B, also detests Israel but thinks the rich need to be taxed further. They quarrel, while the conservatives across the street agree that nobody should pay more in tax than they need to.

As a result, the meltdown is not surprising—indeed, it is inevitable. Liberal alliances are tenuous at best, and their even interests compete for a dwindling supply of the pie. Remember the analogy of wolves squabbling over a scrap of food?

Behold.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.