Pick a mainstream media newsroom at random. There is probably a conversation like this going on within: “Gareth, did you read that 6% of Tea Party members are black?” “Yeah, Cody…and African Americans make up almost 13% of the country.” … Continue reading →
It has been years since the Czar underwent NBC counseling for some outrageous parties in the past, but he still feels reasonably okay with nuclear weapon strategy. Perhaps not as much as yon Volgi—who invented fission to appease the Duke … Continue reading →
‘Puter broad-sided a topic that has been skulking about the Czar’s brain for some time now, when he writes these awful [liberal] programs are initially well-intentioned, and a direct result of the prevailing liberal view of government. That is, the … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative G.D. writes in concerning ‘Puter’s post on foreclosures from his undercover posting as an usher at the Globe Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon. Thus spake G.D.: Oh, wisest of all ‘puters, I couldn’t agree more. Ultimately, people need to understand … Continue reading →
Or several thousand laws. At least that’s what the New York Times seems to think. The New York Times editorial writers’ Sign of the Apocalypse of the Day is foreclosures, and the inability of current government programs to effectively combat … Continue reading →
Coming soon: 100 GB and 120 GB BluRay writeable discs for home computer storage. ‘Puter continues to hope against hope that his 8-inch floppies will still be compatible, but it looks even grimmer. And he still has boxes of those … Continue reading →
Happy Easter from the Gormogons. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →The Czar hath returned from the Muscovy Odioplex, having taken the Цесаревич to see Clash of the Titans. The film is getting an odd mix of positive and negative reviews but the little guy really liked the 1981 original and … Continue reading →
Dr. J writes in after reading the latest Castle insider scoop that our prepublication review board approved earlier this week: Why is it that only The Czar and ‘Puter have the privilege of having sidekicks?Surely the Notorious OEV, the devious … Continue reading →
A urologist in Florida has placed a sign on his office door advising Obama supporters to seek treatment elsewhere. That’s pretty dumb. Obviously, a doctor cannot necessarily refuse medical treatment to anyone, but he can refuse to see non-emergency patients … Continue reading →
On Wednesday, President Obama announce that the federal government will purchase the first 100 electric cars that roll off an American assembly line. Currently, that appears to be the Chevy Volt which is reportedly going to carry a price tag … Continue reading →
Oh Great Czar, Enough of your pontificating on liberal buffoonery in the op-ed section. Tell us what your readers are really interested in: what’s Easter like at Castle Gormogon? Do you send the village kids out for an egg hunt … Continue reading →
Gormogon royal surgeon Dr. J. takes time off from scraping asbestos containing material’s out of ‘Puter’s lungs to ask: Is it me, or does this smack of electoral patronage? Alaska is not a strategic electoral target for BHO in 2012, … Continue reading →
The head of our Gormogon air force (and no, we do not call him the Air Head) writes a hastily scrawled note (oddly in Thelma Todd’s blood): Your Czarness: Thank you for continuing your mission of enlightenment and world domination. … Continue reading →
Democrats and Republicans both seem to be misreading public resistance to ObamaCare. From ‘Puter’s perspective from the geothermally heated hot tub at Castle Gormogon, the core of America’s discontent is easy to divine. It’s not the primarily the taxes, or … Continue reading →
It seems to the Czar that an “op ed” should be opposite the editors’s viewpoint, or at least different enough to warrant printing. But the New York Times, whom you know is quite new to journalism, believes that its op-ed … Continue reading →
In our ongoing effort to remind the world that the mainstream media is populated by functionally stupid dolts, here is a quick round up of news from today: Autopsy: SeaWorld trainer died from drowning, traumatic injuries. Yes, because when a … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative DA writes in to your Mandarin with the following: Howdy mate… I know its probably not the right sort of respectful tone to take on of the Gormogons, but saying mate is ingrained in me, much to the … Continue reading →
Wow. Are you kidding? Seriously. MSNBC has almost a million viewers? Who woulda thunk? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, … Continue reading →
You may be more liberal, or more conservative, than you think. Here is an easy quiz. Conservatives will likely have more (a) answers, and liberals more (b) answers. The unemployment rate is… a) Too damn high. Everyone is hurting. b) … Continue reading →
Well, by now you know there are dozens of Tea Party members upset with the healthcare vote. Which is curious, because dozens appear to outnumber supporters of the legislation. But the tiny, insignificant amount of Tea Party folks upset with … Continue reading →
Not content to change the way we do healthcare, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced on Sunday that her goal is to reform the United States’ geography. Alaska and Hawaii will be towed, at a cost of $1.9 trillion, … Continue reading →
Well, we’re almost down to our Final Four. Thanks to everyone who voted in the last poll. The runaway winner, with 45% of the vote was Bart Stupak, who was duly fed to Nosferatu and had both his faces and … Continue reading →
Norman Podhoretz does a nice job of contextualizing Sarah Palin and the backlash against her in certain quarters of conservatism, even citing Gormogon favorite T. Coddington van Voorhees VII. Pod the Elder comes with a position similar to many of … Continue reading →
The Mandarin came into the Humidor Room of the Castle about two hours ago. He asked the Czar if we had seen ‘Puter lately. No, not since yesterday. The Mandarin nodded and said “I just checked the proxy server log … Continue reading →
I’ll be damned. ’Puter was right. Mandy was working on fembots. Well, congratulations to him on the roll-out. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →I really dig maps. I do geospatial work as part of my job and I love a variety of maps on a personal level. I was interested to come across this “mashup”. Now, I agree with the original author that … Continue reading →
Utterly clueless. Because that is how the world is today. Something happens, and someone needs to resign. How about this. How about journalists resign when they flub a story or back the wrong side? Wouldn’t that instantly improve the world? … Continue reading →
The Czar and the Цесаревич wandered around Muscovy today to see what trouble we could get into. (Turns out: we wound up buying some street hockey sticks and rubber pucks for $2 each…a great deal!) One stop was to the … Continue reading →
Yeah, because every so often the Mandarin and GorT get into the rum and cokes, and pretty soon we wind up with stuff from an alternate future. At least, the Czar hopes that’s the case, because GorT woke up with … Continue reading →
Your Czarness: Do tell your noble father not to despair. Yes, these days it is right difficult to keep on the sunny side of life. But just as surely as spring follows the gloom of harsh winter, so too will … Continue reading →
90% is an A- minus, right? Well not in this case. According to the newest CBO report, the national debt will rise to 90% of GDP. This report also details that President Obama’s fiscal 2011 budget will generate approximately $10 … Continue reading →
As you know, the Czar has lived for several centuries. (And had it not been for that upstart second cousin of his, Daniil, Czar would be Tsar’. But that was a long time ago.) So when the Czar converses with … Continue reading →
Teaching while intoxicated. A new low. This week’s miscreant? Ms. Tonya Neff, seventh grade teacher at Toro Canyon Middle School in Thermal, California. Excellent work, Ms. Neff. Hopefully you were drinking your Jesus Juice out of your teachers’ union mug … Continue reading →
Operative TB writes in with the following question (oddly drafted in motor oil on eelskin) concerning ‘Puter’s post yesterday: Hey wait one minute! Last time I looked Kitty was up against Putin. Hagar isn’t even in the brackytte. Where did … Continue reading →
Yesterday into last night, the GOP forced the Senate to consider 29 amendments to the health care bill. The democrats voted each one down. Keep this in mind when Obama continues his stumping for public support for this bill. I’m … Continue reading →
Here are some small pieces of ‘Puter’s twisted mind for your perusal this fine afternoon. 1. All United States citizens over the age of 18 should be require to file income tax returns, regardless of whether they earned any income … Continue reading →
Apropos of nothing, here is your Two Minute Kitty. Hagar the Horrible provides the hate. Special thanks to Gormogon operative J.S. for making ‘Puter’s afternoon. And special thanks to Mr. Orwell for providing us a preview of our dystopian future. … Continue reading →
‘Puter has a nasty cold, dutifully provided him by the divine Mrs. ‘Puter. ‘Puter was whining about his minor affliction to his sister. ‘Puter writes: I heard that under ObamaCare, there will be no more colds. Or alternatively that the … Continue reading →
Confucius apologizes for getting behind on the mail. We’ve got a few correspondents’ with public comments that your Œc. Vol. hasn’t gotten to. Vaminos, muchachos. “Charlie Foxtrot” sends in a link to Paul Ryan’s great graphics on the unaffordability of … Continue reading →
Confucius* says, I don’t want to blow your mind, cats and kittens, but you know the story the Czar is commenting on, where some liberal Democrats walked through a crowd of Tea Partiers and came out claiming they’d been spat … Continue reading →
As we’ve mentioned, treacherous Frenchman (do we repeat ourself?) and Gormogon buddy, Luc Besson, took a bunch of “home movies” around Castle Gormogon and is now using them in his new movie, La Femme Indiana Jones or something. Here’s the … Continue reading →
The Czar likes Daniel Foster, and would not only welcome him to the Castle, but would even allow him to leave intact. However, Mr. Foster reports on a short-sided study that reveals, après le weekend, that if the November elections … Continue reading →
One always hesitates to disagree with the Czar, but the fact is while Jews vote the way they want, they overwhelmingly want to vote for Democrats. Jews have voted in overwhelming numbers for the Democratic candidate since the Progressive Era … Continue reading →
So Operative DT writes in to ask the Czar what the hell is up when America’s Jewish population votes in massive numbers for Barack Obama, when the President has continuously propped up Iran while bitch slapping Israel around. The answer … Continue reading →
Everyone loves free stuff. Who wouldn’t? After all, it’s free! At least that’s the belief of ‘Puter’s eleven year old whelp ‘Puter, Jr. This belief also seems to be prevalent among Democrats and others with an eleven year old’s world … Continue reading →
The Times is reporting that Congress is requesting President Obama to start developing a plan to replace Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. Does this scare the crap out of you? Quoth the Times: On April 15, the Treasury Department and … Continue reading →
‘Puter was sitting in Mass two weeks ago and noted that the psalm (Ps. 34:5) touched on the issue of fear. “I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” Since we’re discussing fear, … Continue reading →
From the Chicago Sun-Times’ Mary Mitchell, who still fears white people, we see the liberal media just cannot give up a great myth: Before the critical vote, House Democrats were heckled, cursed and spit on by people who were opposed … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative MC writes to say: The lovely and talented Operative SC brought this to my attention via The Corner late yesterday. It’s too bad this video didn’t make the rounds sooner, as the pro-life crowd wouldn’t have hung all … Continue reading →
You think anyone explained to this broad what that cute little rainbow flag means? Update: Weathered Publius writes in: think the sign is meant to be ironic – IE. without the machine invented by a homosexual we would’ve lost WWII. … Continue reading →
And now for something completely different. She’s full of secrets. The owls are not what they seem. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Farewell, Mitt. As they cast the 216th vote last night, Nancy Pelosi and her minions also smashed Mitt Romney’s presidential ambitions. There is literally no substantial difference between Obamacare and Romneycare. The fundamentals are exactly the same: an individual mandate … Continue reading →
Buy it here. Via Li Bai. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →So the Obama Administration has targeted a number of groups, largely behind outcries from the left that these organizations “make too much profit” – oil/gas companies, banks, federal IT contractors, insurance companies, etc. I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop. It … Continue reading →
Ghetto P invokes Marta the Orion Slave Girl* romanced by Ki-Rok. Didja know she was played by classically-trained ballerina. Yvonne Craig, a/k/a… Batgirl? She and the Volgi dated in the mid-’60s. I’m just sayin’. *You know the famous story about … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative FJR reports to ‘Puter from an undisclosed yurt on the central Eurasian steppes with the following observation on charity: Since the Federal Government has decided that it is their job to be benevolent I have decided to redirect … Continue reading →
‘Puter thinks not. Check out this week in history: March 21, 2010: Our Glorious Leader and his People’s Patriotic Party passed possibly the most fiscally irresponsible piece of legislation in generations without a single opposition vote. March 23, 1775: Patrick … Continue reading →
Gormogons Twitter follower S.E. Cupp is dead-on in her diary (in which she reveals her academic past as the curatrix of a The Greater Connecticut NKOTB Museum): I read Kathryn Lopez’s account of the chaos among Catholics on health care … Continue reading →
All Bart Stupak needed to do was walk down the steps of an airplane up to the podium and announce that he held in his hand a document signed by Herr Hitler that guaranteed that their would be peace in … Continue reading →
Which one normally wouldn’t give a damn about, since the Gormogons have admired a lot of Randi’s work over the years, but a lot like Albert Kinsey’s “proving” (by massive statistical manipulation and outright lying) that his own carefully hidden … Continue reading →
As much as it pains one to write this, Speaker Pelosi managed to get the necessary votes together to pass the Senate bill. And now that evil hybrid (the bill, not Pelosi) is on its way back to the Senate … Continue reading →
Wow, big weekend, huh? Putin won by forfeit after Rahm Emanuel died unexpectedly of a hideous, fast-acting cancer from acute α-radiation effects of some 210Po which made its way into his PowerBar. President Obama has submitted the Rahm F.N. Emanuel … Continue reading →
Thanks for all the feedback by e-mail. Enjoy. The first-round results are in. In case you missed it, Vladimir Putin had Barney Frank shot on the front walk outside his house, and Rahm Emanuel pliéd his foot into Ban Ki-Mun’s … Continue reading →
Well, today is the critical healthcare vote—sort of a last stand between progressivism and capitalism, really. As of the time the Czar writes this, the gap between the two positions has narrowed incredibly, but the NO votes still lead. Lest … Continue reading →
Let us do some math. There are 300 million Americans, say. The Obama administration claims that 46 million people lack health insurance. Wait, though: it turns out that this industry number included 10 million illegal aliens. So 36 million Americans … Continue reading →
ACORN is going bankrupt. At least, that’s the story we are being sold. Call the Czar a bit skeptical here. A teleconference between officials is allegedly being held this weekend to review the steps necessary to break up and dissolve … Continue reading →
Today, they have been split up into various departments and even independent agencies of the government. But there was a time (1953-1979) when they were collectively known as the Department of Health, Education, and Welfare. Although various presidents thought about … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin has been contemplating the pending Sunday vote on the healthcare destruction proposal, and has the following questions: 1. How is it those progressives/liberals that have fought for the last 40 years for the government to stay out of … Continue reading →
Every once in a while we get some traveling salesmen arrive at the Castle. We know they’re coming, trust us. So we watch as they approach when we’re bored. They pause before the moat, gather themselves and strut across the … Continue reading →
The Czar missed the Obama v. Fox interview, but understands this is pretty close. Professor Obama explains basic healthcare economics to the public, and Rodney “Average American” responds. The symmetry here is disturbing. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, … Continue reading →
The Czar was curious to see how the Times would spin this. Basically, the President has delayed his overseas trip for the same reason he delayed it previously. No, Speaker Pelosi, not because he wants to stay at the helm … Continue reading →
The Daily Mail Online is reporting that, “Children who are hooked on computer games, the Internet, and mobile phones are to be offered help at what is thought to be the first dedicated technology addiction service for young people in … Continue reading →
Says this fair colleen. You may have heard something along those lines in these parts before. Update: Kathy Shaidle, the female Ghettoputer agrees. How did the Irish do it? Like this. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass … Continue reading →
Not much. Enjoy your “free” medicine, kids, provided by the graduates of the finest medical schools of Guatemala, Uganda, Bangladesh, and Albania. You get what you pay for. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Lânetlilerin Türk türküsü. The Pogues. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →GorT takes offense to ‘Puter’s “dirt burner” comment. Let me clarify it (and yes, I have over 70% Irish heritage): Peat Burners Happy St. Patrick’s Day GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s run into an object lesson on liberal arrogance and bigotry. One of his friends was bemoaning this story, in which a Roman Catholic parish school in Colorado expelled two children of lesbian parents. Predictably, the thread degenerated quickly. The … Continue reading →
Nothing says “I’m proud of my heritage” like a cultural celebration revolving around getting sloppy drunk, vomiting in the gutter and/or on innocent bystanders, then heading home for the evening with some disease ridden last call leftover. Oh, and don’t … Continue reading →
Back by popular demand, it’s the Gormogons’ Ides of March Memorial Slaughterrama. Twenty men (women, cartoon characters, whatever) enter, one leaves! This year, you’ll be able to help us out in resurrecting two teams from the slagheap to keep the … Continue reading →
Maybe I’m too smart for my own good. Here’s the directions on the census form: Before you answer Question 1, count the people living in this house, apartment, or mobile home using our guidelines. Count all people, including babies, who … Continue reading →
GorT is in possession of the 2010 Census form and I have a few thoughts on the materials provided: 1. Ok, I get it. The answers are confidential and the form is easy to complete. If nothing else the government … Continue reading →
A tyranny can only succeed when it operates in secret. According to this story from FoxNews.com, in fiscal year 2009, 17 major governmental agencies refused to release information 466,872 times. This is an increase of almost 50% from the previous … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was watching the local television news broadcast last night to watch the weather forecast – it amuses me to see what they are predicting and then I go to the lab and set the weather ray to the … Continue reading →
Can Governor Chris Christie (R-NJ) be the governor of New York as well? If he can make the New York Times squawk like this, he’s doing something right. Gov. Christie’s budget proposes to eliminate New Jersey’s deficit by slashing spending … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative D.T., fresh off his St. Patrick’s Day parade stint in Belfast, writes in concerning ‘Puter’s earlier post on liberal orthodoxy on abortion. I’m sure you’ve already read this, since Taranto is no doubt an operative of yours. But, … Continue reading →
Because, seriously, Czar, I know you told that guy to stay away from your wife, but now he’s taunting you from Newsweek covers. Can’t see him? Hover your mouse over the picture for a clue. Via larwyn via e-mail. Confucius, … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative FJR writes in from her very unusual field project (it is difficult, one admits, to construct a massive radio telescope below a Puerto Rican lake, but it turns out to be a great place to hide a massive … Continue reading →
D.T. writes in, evidently quivering in fear: Oh Wise, Mighty, and Enlightened Czar, who has hopefully glossed over this boring greeting since I have sent more interesting ones in the past, I bring you a report from the St. Patrick’s … Continue reading →
The five of us put our heads together at the Leaping Peacock last night (it was the only way to get ‘Puter involved) and conducted our Selection Sunday for our own take on the meaningful brackets. For those of you … Continue reading →
Scripsit Царь наш: For your right-wing bias, HuffPo is lauding the serious investigative journalism of the Times for exposing how this is a clear conflict of interest for Justice Thomas, and suggests that the whole point of the recent decision … Continue reading →
The New York Times editorial board today calls out pro-life Democrats for holding up passage of ObamaCare. In so doing, the NYT’s editorial board show little to no understanding of the pro-life contingent’s principled stand in opposing ObamaCare. The NYT … Continue reading →
Scripsit ’Puter: Each successive Kennedy was worse than the one he survived, and each successive Kennedy generation was worse than the preceding generation. Depends when you start counting, I’d say. If you start with Joe Jr., JFK, Rosemary, Kathleen, Eunice, … Continue reading →
There is so much wrong with this story ‘Puter doesn’t even no where to start. Morbidly obese Donna Simpson (weighing in at slightly more than 600 pounds) wants to be the world’s fattest woman. Ms. Simpson has set a goal … Continue reading →
The LA Times, and apparently only the LA Times (and at that, only their mobile version) is reporting that Virginia Thomas, wife of Clarence Thomas, is starting a new conservative political action group, called Liberty Central, Inc. For your left-wing … Continue reading →
New York Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo (son of past New York governor Mario Cuomo) should be investigated for possible ethical violations, including criminal abuse of his office. If Mr. Cuomo is found to have breached his ethical obligations, he … Continue reading →
Who can ‘Puter turn to? Well, Gormogon operative T.G., of course. T.G. writes in with praise and criticism for ‘Puter’s post regarding Ms. Jenny McCarthy’s heartfelt yet profoundly stupid campaign against childhood vaccinations. Thus spake T.G.: Point taken, but you … Continue reading →
I came across this piece on the Castle’s coffee table this afternoon. No clue how it got there as it’s more suited for the Castle’s public restroom. I’ll pick at a few choice portions here: How Free Markets Sank the … Continue reading →
Operative DT whinges: Oh Wise Volgi, Whose Wisdom Knows No End (and, might I add, is really “rocking the 啤酒 Gut”: As a mere operative, I could not hope to provide a suggestion to one as mighty as yourself. However, … Continue reading →
