What are you, nuts? Conservative author, commentatrix, and—respectfully—smokin’ hottie S.E. Cupp has come aboard the S.S. Gormogon Twitter feed. Sure, knowing us, it’ll hit an iceberg soon enough, but come on board, enjoy the ride! And don’t worry, the band … Continue reading →
When the Czar was in school, the best they could manage was getting us to show up two days in a row. For the absolute opposite, check out the kids of PS22 (NYC, fifth graders). Is this awe-inspiring or what? … Continue reading →
The good doctor returns to the Bizarro World of Tom Toles again this week, emerging with his sanity mostly intact. Confucius has edited this slightly for space. There are now four kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, Statistics, and now, … Continue reading →
Repeal the healthcare bill if passed? Theoretically, yes. In practice, no chance. Yes, the link is an editorial. But the Czar (a sad pessimist) tends to take the side of its author. The Czar might even go further: why repeal … Continue reading →
CNN is trying to stay relevent by commenting on the new Coffee Party. Read the article, and decide if CNN even attempts to define the Coffee Party as anything short of a stunt. No? That’s all right; the Czar didn’t … Continue reading →
GorT reminds you to set your clocks ahead…to the year 5012. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated … Continue reading →
Dr. J, in a letter your Volgi’s been remiss in posting, waxes a bit despondent about the looming threat of Obamacare. The bulk of his missive concerned the Slaughter Stratagem, ginned up by ’Puter’s neighbor, Weezy. Since that seems to … Continue reading →
With apologies to Jane Curtin, who is certainly far wiser than Ms. Jenny McCarthy. Heck, Czar’s chia sofa is brighter than Ms. McCarthy. Why the attack on Ms. McCarthy (and by extension, her current man toy Jim Carrey)? As we’ve … Continue reading →
So, yeah, we know Luc Besson. “Pleaze, Messieurs les Gormogôgnes, let me just take a few of ze pictures around ze Château Gormogônne. Eet ees zhust for mon ome meuvies.” More the fool us, we say “ok.” Well, not all … Continue reading →
Царь пишет: We again must point out that todays mainstream media is probably the least skeptical, most easily fooled, and least educated group that it has ever been. The Volgi is going to have to take issue with the last … Continue reading →
But only to the extent Janus is the two-faced god. What’s got ‘Puter fired up now? Well, ‘Puter was watching the talking heads on MSNBC (we watch so you don’t have to) bash the insurance companies while lauding the coming … Continue reading →
And not surprisingly, the Toyota Prius out-of-control bit turns out to be a hoax. The guy made it all up. And there is a reason you do not see this revelation on your news feeds: it makes the media look … Continue reading →
Scary news. Senator Reid’s wife and daughter were injured in a car accident. Details are unknown, but the injuries are not life-threatening. We hope for their rapid and complete recovery. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative GD writes in and says he understands the Department of Education intends to purchase 27 shotguns. Now, back a ways, operative MC popped into the Castle rumpus room and asked a similar question as to why the IRS … Continue reading →
Brought to you by Yuval Levin, writing over in Mr. Goldberg’s Neighborhood (NRO) concerning the Democrats’ health care reform contortions: Democratic leaders should be asking themselves just how they have gotten to the point that their strategy is to amend … Continue reading →
For best headline of all time: “Gay Avatar Sex Parties? Gay Avatar Sex Parties.“ Enjoy the entire article over at Filmdrunk. ‘Puter just can’t make this stuff up. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims … Continue reading →
Czar’s favorite quote: “I hope this will give other women in the same position the courage to come forward,” said Maria Alaimo, 47. Yeah, okay. That’s a rallying cry for four-breasted women everywhere. We are just not certain how many … Continue reading →
This sounds to ‘Puter like a feature, not a bug. Particularly if you’re this lady’s husband/boyfriend/slampiece/whatever. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes … Continue reading →
And now it is the Czar’s turn to receive email from the enigmatic but clearly refined and educated D.T.: Oh Czar, to whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid: Like any diligent … Continue reading →
Ah, young love. And by young love, ‘Puter means predatory teachers banging away on their young charges like a screen door in a hurricane. In today’s episode, we meet Amy Victoria Beck, social studies teacher and alleged rapist of a … Continue reading →
This one is a little bit off the wall. In Nevada, where Harry Reid is overdue to take a swan dive into the concrete walkway of voter reality, two candidates have emerged on the GOP side: Sue Lowden (front runner) … Continue reading →
The New York Times weighs in with its howler of an editorial on abortion this morning. From the beginning to the end, it’s a tired, duplicitious whine about sensible restrictions on abortion. The editorialists start off playing hide the ball. … Continue reading →
ABC News has a story up with this headline: “Toddler Dies After Mistaking Gun for Wii Controller.” ‘Puter calls horse hockey on ABC News. Facts: A three year old fatally shot herself in the head with a loaded Smith & … Continue reading →
In his typically insightful fashion, Gormogon operative D.T. writes concerning this post of ‘Puter’s from yesterday regarding the ulcerous cankers that are teachers’ unions. D.T. writes: Oh Wise and Mighty Puter of the Ghetto, Sir: The very first line of … Continue reading →
Take a look around the world – see all the issues going on? A couple natural disasters, a potentially nuclear-armed Iran, Russia’s expanding regional influence, the economic troubles in Greece and elsewhere, etc. All the while, what is our president … Continue reading →
1980s era child star Corey Haim was found dead today of an apparent drug overdose. Mr. Haim starred in such epic films as Lost Boys. ‘Puter thinks upon examination the coroner will discover that Mr. Haim’s cause of death was … Continue reading →
According to USA Today, the “final” (if only!) healthcare vote will come either the day before the President leaves town or the day before Congress leaves town. Real nice. Have we received any sign from either the President or from … Continue reading →
Ah, the rallying call of the teachers’ unions everywhere. ‘Puter’s recently had a bunch of thoughts he’s meant to post on, but none seemed big enough for a post of its own. So, ‘Puter offers up some of his random … Continue reading →
Some people are too stupid to eat, or in Lindsay Lohan’s case, exist. ‘Puter is reminded of these incontrovertible facts upon perusal of the media this morning. First, the New York Times feels the duty to weigh in on a … Continue reading →
Toyota Priuses evidently do not have a neutral gear to throw it into if the accelerator should stick. That’s what the Czar would do, if he were ever in one when the accelerator stuck. But the Czar has never been … Continue reading →
You’ve heard it and seen it and read it dozens of times: Obama is bringing Chicago politics to Washington! Obama, part of the Chicago machine, is doing business old school! The President is showing the world the Chicago way of … Continue reading →
It’s amazing how different perception and reality can be. Many of us (and maybe not enough) are aware of the recent reports coming out from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Let’s start with the basic numbers. There are roughly 284,000 … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been remiss on answering his mail of late, what with watching the train wreck that is the Massa resignation unfold in slow motion in his backyard and all. But Gormogon operative Mallethead (not to be confused with Czar’s pseudonym, … Continue reading →
Remember that awesome Rube Goldberg video from OK Go? Here’s a little insight as to how it was done. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →According to this article from ChicagoRealEstateDaily.com a federal lawsuit filled by the owner of the Congress hotel accuses hotel workers from Local 1 of sending a “cow pie” to potential conventioneers. Apparently, if one is willing to believe this load … Continue reading →
Sorry to sound like a broken record here, but let us see how sincere the President is. Because the President is facing criticism from both sides of the aisle on his plan to privatize space exploration. Wait, let the Czar … Continue reading →
Operative JP, who has been in the Sahara on a very special archaeological dig for us—and if we’re right about what JP finds, you don’t want to know what’s been buried there for 4,000 years—writes in on reconciliation: If I … Continue reading →
The problem isn’t that Senator Orrin Hatch is right; it’s how wrong he isn’t. Hatch is being skewered by the likes of HuffPo and Rachel Maddow for an op ed piece he wrote, in which he claims that reconciliation has … Continue reading →
RB, a Gormogon operative you seldom hear us mention because he is on very special and secret assignment transforming Saturn’s E ring into a wideband radio receiver (don’t ask why; you’ll figure it out in 2014 when we bring it … Continue reading →
Courtesy Borepatch. Wow. Awesome. Evidently the Europeans did not realize how the British conduct their politics. Check out the Simon Cowell-like slam-bang Nigel Farage delivers to the so-called President of Europe, Herman Van Rompuy. But he calls the European socialists … Continue reading →
The same way we always do. Not to everybody in Iran, of course. Just one or two. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of … Continue reading →
Remember the Obama campaign? Specifically for this discussion, recall that then-candidate Obama stated that he would engage in direct negotiations with Iran. Specifically, his website read as follows: Obama supports tough, direct presidential diplomacy with Iran without preconditions.Now is the … Continue reading →
‘Puter would like to state that drag racing naval warfare surface vessels is immature, irresponsible and dangerous. ‘Puter agrees that the Capt. Holly Graf of the U.S.S. Cowpens deserved to be removed from her posting, for this and the other … Continue reading →
Back to Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY), ‘Puter’s almost Congressman, and his foray into same-sex sexual harassment. Rep. Massa is reported to be announcing his resignation from Congress, effective Monday at 5:00 p.m. But it’s got nothing to do with the … Continue reading →
Once again, the Roman Catholic Church (of which ‘Puter is a practicing member) manages to live down to its reputation. One of Pope Benedict XVI’s ceremonial ushers and a member of an elite Vatican choir have been “implicated in a … Continue reading →
And so the President might just pass the Senate bill onto the House of Representatives for the up or down vote with no changes to the original language. And let us say it passes. Unlikely, given the mess it is … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s stepping into your Volgi’s territory here, but never let it be said that Congress misses an opportunity to muck something up. The House Foreign Affairs Committee, apparently willfully ignorant of Turkey’s hypersensitivity to the issue, today voted 23-22 to … Continue reading →
And the Internet freaking knows it. Want proof? This popped up on a web page about a dude selling his 2008 Audi. Note the bottom link. Because of course, we are behind it. Look for links to this site on … Continue reading →
Dr. J slams this one in: Your Czarness, I am slowly drifting from the paranoid wing into the uberparanoid wing of the anti-Obamacare right. I have seen some folks suggesting that reconciliation may be a ruse to trick the house … Continue reading →
The Denny’s Restaurant chain is apologizing for a commercial it ran that joked about the Irish Potato Famine. The commercial was promoting an all-you-can-eat french fries and pancakes offer. This drew the ire of the Irish-American community who felt it … Continue reading →
Hey, folks, if you’re not following the Gormogons’ Twitter feed, you should be. Not only Journalist Goldberg and American Ninja Stephen F. Hayes follow us, but so does Col. John Casey (d/b/a ‘Adam Baldwin’). Not cool enough? Ok, well, we’re … Continue reading →
OK Go, the madmen with the awesome treadmill video, have come out with a masterpiece that appears to have been filmed in GorT’s dad’s basement after a holiday weekend. And, yes, this is an actual machine. I’m not exactly sure … Continue reading →
Despite numerous assurances that the Democrats would never risk such a stunt, there is every appearance that they will attempt to pass portions of the healthcare mess through a procedure called reconciliation. You will see this word quite often in … Continue reading →
Some things happened in the 1980s and you no longer remember them. Well, the Czar remembers. And he remembers this limited-play tune. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was … Continue reading →
Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY)* is retiring from Congress after only one term. Health reasons? Disgusted with partisan politics? Nope. Congressman Massa allegedly got a little too handsy with one of his office staff. A male office staffer. ‘Puter’d love to … Continue reading →
Why on earth would a pro-Obama liberal democrat want the right to carry a handgun in public? A must read for conservatives and their few remaining liberal friends on why gun control is a bad idea. And why he gives … Continue reading →
MC writes in. Check this out: Nice article on this crash – I followed it on Tim Vasquez’s weather blog and he did a nice job of laying out the meteorology. I believe this crash happened before I found your … Continue reading →
The Czar seems to have written poorly. ‘Puter is correct that that the Bill of Rights protects all citizens of all 50 states and wherever else the Contitution is accepted (territories, protectorates, et ceteras). But the Bill of Rights was … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s treading lightly here to avoid setting the Czar off, and causing a new Tunguska Event, but ‘Puter respectfully disagrees with Czar’s reading of the NYT editorial. First, the Bill of Rights was incorporated against the states by the Fourteenth … Continue reading →
‘Puter, as you know, is always right. As the Czar understands the editorial, The New York Times takes the position that the Bill of Rights is limited only to the federal government. For example, the First Amendment—which the Czar agrees … Continue reading →
Wow. Just wow. That’s ‘Puter’s reaction to this New York Times editorial opining that the United States Supreme Court should hold that the Second Amendment (as part of the Bill of Rights) is incorporated against the states pursuant to the … Continue reading →
Combining two of ‘Puter’s great loves, cartoons and Black History Month, comes this awesome sendup of both topics from Mad Decent. ‘Puter must agree that Panthro was the smart one, and never really got his due. Lion-O was Benjy, the … Continue reading →
Readers with longer attention spans than ‘Puter will remember the Czar’s suspicion that the truth about the May 2009 crash of Air France Flight 447 would not come from the French government, because the truth would expose a problem in … Continue reading →
Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has gone all in on the tragically flawed Health Care Reform Effort on behalf of the Democrat caucus. Making the Sunday talk show rounds, Speaker Pelosi told moderate Democrats in competitive districts that … Continue reading →
You take them both and there you have: the Obama Administration’s oddly schizophrenic policy on nuclear issues! The good: more nuclear power. The bad: fewer nuclear weapons. It’s too early on a Monday morning for ‘Puter to reconcile these two … Continue reading →
The Czar has previously said that when racism is genuine, it is totally obvious to any reasonable person and needs no civic leader to point it out for us. Remember in baseball, prior to Jackie Robinson, when they held a … Continue reading →
The Gormogons are most concerned for the people of Chile, who have been hit with an earthquake about 20 times more powerful than the one that crushed Haiti. We know now that the anticipated tsunami that almost evacuated Hawaii fortunately … Continue reading →
A bit of poli sci jiggery pokery that the Czar has learned tends to be alarming. Interesting stat that 66% of Americans think everyone in Congress should be dumped. But it means nothing, usually, because Americans do not actually vote … Continue reading →
As I started my day this morning I almost choked on my 10w-40 omelet when I saw this. Read it, including the unbelievable transcript of Rep. Pelosi’s (D-CA) responses. She stands by her claim that she’s running the most “honest, … Continue reading →
A word from a dear fan: Between you guys (including the hidden captions), the various NRO blogs, wattsupwiththat.com, and a couple others I regularly check, my productivity can really go to hell some days, and I thank all of you … Continue reading →
Of course, the Volgi’s favorite part is at 03:30. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →More comix ’n’ commentary from Dr. J, bidding fair to become the Gormogons’ comics’ page editor. He and the Czar are a dagger points—literally, Doc’s got some sort of Bowie knife and the Czar’s got some bizarro Circassian kinjal and … Continue reading →
This explains why the US isn’t backing the UK in the Falklands oil drilling dispute. Read it and see. Done? Okay, you might ask, this explained nothing. Why is the US snubbing one of our best friends? It is in … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s got a few thoughts on the Festivus-esque “airing of the grievances” that occurred yesterday in Washington. First, ‘Puter thought, and still thinks, that the party that spoke least was going to “win” the summit. Republicans spoke significantly less than … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →One thing that irks the Czar about conservatives is their innate reflex to demand a resignation. An Obama appointee knocks over a drink—some Congressperson calls for a resignation. An Obama appointee forgets to switch her watch back to Eastern time, … Continue reading →
Washington refused to endorse British claims to sovereignty over the Falkland Islands yesterday as the diplomatic row over oil drilling in the South Atlantic intensified in London, Buenos Aires and at the UN. Despite Britain’s close alliance with the US, … Continue reading →
Read this. Yeah, that’s the kind of support we’re getting from the democrats and why they need a swift gut-boot from the Mandarin. All of them. Now. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to … Continue reading →
If you’re a skeptic like the Czar, this sort of thing will blow whatever you’re drinking out your nose.Only Dr. Boli. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born … Continue reading →
Hmm. This doesn’t appear to be resizing right. Watch full screen or at the original site, if that’s the case on your screen. Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von Trier Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →
Can you imagine what would happen if President Obama, faced with the economic recession, had given this as his inauguration speech? What would have happened to his support? Yes, it is a real speech from a historical leader taking power—but … Continue reading →
(Britain is a bit like Greece except with the Elgin Marbles) quoth Stuttaford. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Who knew people were interested in social security reform, much less the nefarious Gormogon operative Dr. J. He makes a point ‘Puter had meant to make, but in his bleary-eyed haze, forgot to do so. Dr. J. writes: Puter, Loved … Continue reading →
Apparently the cold in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia (not misspelled — Canada is also known as America’s Hat) has frozen the brains of a pair of teachers. An unidentified male teacher performed a lap dance on a female gym teacher, one … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative JAB writes in with a response to ‘Puter post regarding social security. ‘Puter hopes the response is satirical. Either that, or Mandarin’s gaslighting ‘Puter by zapping operatives with his orbital mind control lasers again. Thus spake JAB: Yo, … Continue reading →
Apropos Czar’s post below, ‘Puter offers the following. First, Czar, as always, is correct. Second, what’s up with Czar’s post last night? ‘Puter fears he has been called out as a simpleton. Even more fearfully, ‘Puter fears he is too … Continue reading →
So the New York Times still cannot see straight. From a wobbly attempt to portray the GOP’s attitudes on a healthcare reform meeting as cautious: Republican Congressional leaders on Tuesday rejected President Obama’s challenge to come up with a single … Continue reading →
Boy, today was a special day, wasn’t it, boys and girls? You got posts from all five of us! First, you woke up to another Mandarin Theater of the Absurd post. Then, the Czar raged about common sense because he … Continue reading →
Well, this is one of the stranger things you’ll see all day. It’s not work-safe, strictly speaking, due to a couple naked cartoon pinups. Love the song, though. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Remember folks, for every guy in a Disney suit, there’s a sweaty, stifling, stifled drama student. Great singing, but man, modern musicals must be dreadful if these are show-stoppers. Via James Lileks’s Twitter feed. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions … Continue reading →
…don’t compare to those you can do when stuck in the Pittsburgh airport overnight during a Snowpocalypse. Marvelous. Whoever this girl is, we love you. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Dr. J, who keeps his stethoscope in his ABA-era afro, writes in with an excellent point of how political polemic corrodes the mind, to the point where black is white and down is up. I have been historically amused by … Continue reading →
The Gormogon alert service is up and running as evidenced by the rapid feedback we received from Gormogon operative GD: I agree that, overall, the tax plan needs a serious revision and I would support just about anything that makes … Continue reading →
I’ve always been a fan of simplifying the tax code. A flat tax. A segmented tax. Whatever. Make it simpler you gain a few things, including a reduction of required government oversight in the form of the I.R.S. It may … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s going to do it. He’s reaching out to touch the third rail of politics: Social Security. Here goes. Social Security is bankrupting the United States. Our promises made significantly outstrip our ability to pay. Instead of pretending the problem … Continue reading →
And ‘Puter’s not just talking about the Democrats’ amazing technicolor stimulus package, health care reform and the jobs bill Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) stated yesterday: “Men, when they’re out of work, tend to become abusive.” Well, Sen. Reid, … Continue reading →
And now hot dogs are the deadliest thing in the world. All right, parents, take the Czar’s quick advice. If your kid is too small to eat hot dogs without wolfing them down sideways, cut their hot dogs into small … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin found this little item while reading the Political Grapevine at Fox News.com: And finally, the BBC reports a woman trying to post a help wanted ad was told her request for “reliable and hard-working” applicants wasn’t allowed because … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been offline today as a result of consipring events. Primarily, Spawn the Lesser has a double ear infection and a wicked cold and was, hence, home. Now ‘Puter fears Spawn the Lesser’s younger, haler immune system has transmogrified the … Continue reading →
