Dick Durbin (D-IL) puts what the Czar hopes is his career on the line. Durbin announced today that if Brown wins the Massachusetts special election, the Democrats are prepared to use the nuclear option. We trust this is not a … Continue reading →
WorldNetDaily.com is reporting that if the federal budget is not cut now, the national debt within about two generations will be 600 percent of the gross domestic product. The article goes on to state, “With the recession and the huge … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin is pleased to share with you this communiqué from our operative in the Mid-South, JM in response to the Igor, To The Lab post: Amen, I say to you. Unless we’re cultivating a society of sheep (and I … Continue reading →
According to this article in the East Bay Express: Berkeley High School is considering a controversial proposal to eliminate science labs and the five science teachers who teach them to free up more resources to help struggling students. The reason … Continue reading →
First we had the maladjusted little darlings who wanted to kill themselves after seeing the movie Avatar, now we get this story. Yes that’s right, these people are naming their children after characters from the movie. This has you Mandarin … Continue reading →
For a white guy who was born (not long) after Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, ‘Puter always understood intellectually the importance of Dr. King in our civil rights movement. But until ‘Puter took the opportunity to actually read some … Continue reading →
The Christian Science Monitor has slightly interesting piece on the Democrats’s potential backup plans should Brown beat Coakley in this wildly entertaining but too-close-to-call Senatorial special election. The Czar agrees with the author, Peter Grier, that these are basically the … Continue reading →
The Gormogons are probably a little too pleased to announce that Special Agent John Casey, NSA (what? WATCH CHUCK.) has joined the Gormogon Twitterama, under his alias of actor “Adam Baldwin.” We’re enormous fans here at Castle Gormogon—although we hesitate … Continue reading →
As noted philosopher Ted “Theodore” Logan once noted, “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” His sagacious observation is equally applicable to Massachusetts’ special Senate election, to be held on the morrow. Republican Scott Brown (noted Cosmo pinup boy) … Continue reading →
And when the politics of hope and change fail, a little cheating is in order. At least that is what MSNBC television and syndicated radio host Ed Schultz believes is necessary to, “…keep these bastards out.” Of course he is … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin would like to share with you this little letter from the NRA-ILA Grassroots Alert Vol. 17, No. 2 10/15/10: Sleep Easy, America – Feds’ Terrorist Watchlist Nabs Cub Scout Friday, January 15, 2010 As we’ve reported before, Sen. … Continue reading →
My sources have not been able to confirm that. They have been able to confirm the following: Jack Sprat could eat no fat,His wife could eat no lean, And so betwixt the two of themThey licked the platter clean We … Continue reading →
FOR SALE: One extremely lazy, clumsy Vietnamese houseboy, who is a hard worker but inattentive in his chores who does not listen when the Czar tells him to be careful around the Waterford crystal, and thinks he knows better. And … Continue reading →
Mandarin, Can any of your sources confirm if there was any issue with victims, two by four, not being able to get through a bathroom door? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь … Continue reading →
Or at least honorary Hard Hat. Quoth he at the Scott Brown rally: This isn’t the Democratic party of our fathers and grandfathers. This is the party of Woodstock hippies. I was at Woodstock — I built the stage. And … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin had to laugh out loud today after reading this article from the Telegraph.co.uk detailing the collapse of the floor at a Weight Watchers clinic. According to the article, “As the dieters queued to see how many pounds they … Continue reading →
Seneca said that. “Fire tests gold; misfortune, the strength of man.” In other words, you learn the most about a leader by seeing what he does when things are going wrong. So how is our phone-it-in talk-show rock-star President doing? … Continue reading →
Sometimes the reader might be inclined to forget that the Gormogons are behind most weird world events—some of them make sense only to us. Yes, it is all an ingenious conspiracy theory. What you may not realize is our craft … Continue reading →
Not only are we sending troops to support various efforts in Haiti, but the military, specifically US SOUTHCOM) has redirected a RQ-4 Global Hawk drone to provide aerial imagery for damage assessments and recovery efforts. Pictured is the damaged Presidential … Continue reading →
The FBI, very much at great expense, produced a digitally enhanced image for the US State Department to show that Osama bin Lādin might potentially look just like kindly Mr. Habib, who owns the on-time and clean limousine service next … Continue reading →
Czar, I don’t think she needs the President to lose it for her. She’s doing wonderfully on her own. Via the Corner. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Golly. Even in cautious polls, candidate Scott Brown has pulled ahead of Martha Coakley. Some say he has a 4% lead; others put him closer to 17%. The President, originally content to support Coakley with a phoned-in video bit—which is … Continue reading →
Wow. Google Finally Translates ‘Don’t Be Evil’ into Mandarin Some of the best free advertising we ever got! The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →
Kathryn Jean Lopez over at The Corner asks, “How Much Coverage Is Too Much Coverage?” regarding news reporting of the Haitian earthquake. She quotes the following passage from America magazine’s blog about CNN coverage in Haiti: The most troubling video … Continue reading →
A lot of hay is being made that should Scott Brown win the election and become Massachusetts’ new senator, he will need to wait 10 days before being sworn in and elegible therefore to vote against the health care bill. … Continue reading →
Well if it isn’t bad enough that your Mandarin has to pay city, county, state and federal taxes – whether in the form of sales taxes, property taxes, or income taxes – now Fox News is reporting the following: The … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin finds it just a bit ironic that the Obama administration and the Unions have cut a deal that will exempt the unions from a 40% tax on “Cadillac” health plans. Having come from a family of labor union … Continue reading →
Well if you didn’t think that the cult of global warming believers wasn’t a new religious movement, then let this clip of the actor Danny Glover prove the point. First we had the crackpot Pat Robertson come out and say … Continue reading →
JG channels the Czar here (inspired, perhaps? Whatever. The Czar fantasizes.) but does it much better with his analysis of the Brown v Coakley campaign. In fact, some of Friend Jonah’s allusions are spot on. Our favorite: Coakley is a … Continue reading →
Here is what happened, as near as one can figure. You have the Mandarin, who has been working on something called a polychromatic texture enforcement weapon, and who has been itching to try it out. Then you have the ‘Puter, … Continue reading →
Rep. Bill Delahunt (D-MA) is shocked, like so many Democrats, that the Coakley v Brown Senate race is now officially a dead heat, and with strong signs that Brown can win (especially given the rate at which he has been … Continue reading →
By now you’ve heard that President Obama is instituting a “fee” entitled the “Financial Crisis Responsibility Fee” in an effort to secure additional federal funds. I call “shenanigans” on this. First, it’s a tax. The administration would rather it be … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative B.D. writes in to offer an amplification of a point ‘Puter made in this post. B.D. states it so well, there’s no need for ‘Puter to waste time summarizing. “Members of the 82nd Airborne are heading to Haiti, … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin is pleased to share this correspondence regarding the Doomsday Clock post: I fell out of my seat when I saw the link on Drudge Report regarding the Doomsday Clock. I really think it deserves more commentary. After waxing … Continue reading →
As Gormogon readers know, hippies can be counted on for four things: (1) access to high quality weed; (b) reeking of patchouli; (q) hairy women; and (7) hating on the military. ‘Puter offers for your edification some facts whith which … Continue reading →
Vlad “The Impaler” Putin issued his sternest warning yet to the US: observe poultry importation safety rules or suffer dire consequences. This can only interpreted as a direct challenge to President Obama, who has historically flaunted a complete disregard for … Continue reading →
Or so it may look. But is it really a deeper plan? Look, kids, we’re a global, epoch-spanning conspiracy with designs on all humanity. But the internet? Eh. It serves our purposes, but we’re not all that fired up about … Continue reading →
The following exchange took place in the family room less than 30 minutes ago. Цесаревич (reading from a book): If your pet is lost, you should make a sign from brightly colored paper… Царица: That’s dumb! A dog can’t see … Continue reading →
MC, who has been absurdly silent lately, writes in: OK, I just had to work this out when I saw that GorT lost six yottabytes of data. The earth’s surface is about 510 million square kilometers (510 x 1012 square … Continue reading →
In an effort to provide important public service information to our loyal readers, your humble Mandarin would like to report that the Doomsday Clock will be moved tomorrow by the world’s top scientists. The clock is very large and will … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Prodded by this post from Friend of the Gormogons J.V. Last and this post on Gamma Squad, we feel it necessary to discuss the Antikythera* Device (pictured at right). “What’s the Antikythera Device,” you ask, “and will it keep the … Continue reading →
The Czar has decided to watch the Ninth Season of American Idol, fearing that the show is likely to come off the rails any second. So far, they have kept to the old format, but we understand major changes are … Continue reading →
The Czar is moving through the solarium on his way to the Fear and Trembling Room, when he passes a clearly annoyed ‘Puter in the hall. “You okay?” we ask. ‘Puter replies he is a bit angry with Sleestak. “Why … Continue reading →
Oh, goody. J.E. Dyer over at Commentary notes, in a post puckishly called “Game On” that China’s successfully tested an anti-ballistic-missile system. This is interesting, because as your Volgi has been writing for some time, China’s military strategy seems to … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s going to wade, with some trepidation, back into the gay marriage arena, prompted by an email from Gormogon Operative J.M., currently located somewhere in the Mid South region. And no, the email was not a gay marriage proposal, despite … Continue reading →
The Czar can not even remember a time that the New York Times published something that did not make him blink twice and ask, pointedly, “Whaaaaaaaat?” Op-ed contributor Paul Krugman serves the Czar up a tasty treat with his “What’s … Continue reading →
Don’t drink the soda in Castle Gormogon’s commissary after Czar’s assigned lunch period. At least until the haz mat (Dat Ho in a gold lame banana hammock and surgical mask, equipped with a toilet brush and spray bottle of CLR) … Continue reading →
…unless you’re looking at “responsiveness to the needs and choices of the individual patient”. The much touted U.N. World Health Organization’s ranking system’s assessment that our country’s healthcare system ranks number 37, only slightly better than Cuba is misleading. Why … Continue reading →
Via Borepatch, whom you should be reading, here’s a link to a fun essay deriding the soi-disant Smart People who view themselves as the world’s natural and universal geniuses and discussing their identity. This is nothing new. There’s a Russian … Continue reading →
More from L.A. Weekly here. Yes, L.A. is a wretched hive of scum and villainy. From there you can see Western Civilization circling the bowl… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Don’t forget, if you are really into wasting valuable time with no end of bullshit, you can of course follow us on Twitter. The Czar does not understand what it means to “follow” on Twitter. Basically, you are supposed to … Continue reading →
Many readers have asked for background about the Gormogons. Well, as you know, Confucius is the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi who’s sustained his life unnaturally for centuries through arcane arts. But what is he really all about? Did he experience chaos … Continue reading →
Tonight was a long-awaited debate between the two Massachusetts candidates for Senator. This special election, to be held January 19th, promises to be spectacular as the late Ted Kennedy’s legendary seat is extremely close to flipping to a Republican—and ironically … Continue reading →
Having seen many a movie over my lifetime, your Mandarin can readily admit that there were quite a few that elicited an emotional response. I’m sure that it is every director’s dream to create a movie that audiences can connect … Continue reading →
The Czar, and evidently most of the staff of the Weekly Standard, recommends you wait for this model. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →
Well it looks like under-socialized nerds living in their mom’s basement now have another reason to not leave home. For years science fiction writers have dreamed of robotic companions that would service our every need. Well according to the makers … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s against gay marriage. Many of ‘Puter’s friends are for gay marriage. Without getting into the merits of the underlying debate, ‘Puter would like to think people of good faith on both sides of the issue could agree on one … Continue reading →
By now, the Gormogons’ well-informed readership will have read Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid’s (D-NV) comments regarding his handicap of the 2008 presidential election. For those who have joined us late, Sen. Reid stated now-President Obama had a good chance … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →New York City’s public libraries are unionized, likely because of the high risk of death and dismemberment from paper cuts acquired in reshelving books. The New York Times, of all places, takes notice of one of the library workers’ contract’s … Continue reading →
CNSNews.com is reporting that the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops will push to get immigration reform legislation enacted in 2010. Wow, your Mandarin’s first thought is where are the separation of church and state groups, and where is their outrage … Continue reading →
USA Today points out that as much as President Obama wants to avoid discussions of race during his presidency, events are forcing him to do just that. Pfft. First, every presidency can be defined as a continuous string of unwanted … Continue reading →
Sometimes the Czar leaves the Castle and returns home to Muscovy, which is actually a short palanquin ride away. As we welcomed dearest Царица, the boys, and little Sally (who is over her bout of colitis, having eating two pounds … Continue reading →
So, you are wondering why the Czar’s mailbag does not feature the usual mail sack photo today? Or perhaps you did not notice? Or more likely you are not even reading the words in this post? The reason for the … Continue reading →
There are numerous reasons why your Mandarin is thankful that Castle Gormogon is located in the greatest country on God’s green earth – the United States of America. But just in case I needed another reason, it seems that our … Continue reading →
Frank Rich, in a New York Times opinion piece (is the NYT even bothering to get the news right at all anymore?) raises an interesting notion: that nearly every American can argue about security, terrorism, underwear bombers, and whatnot, but … Continue reading →
Following up to our post yesterday about Senator Reid taking over a year to apologize for bone-headed, wildly out-dated racial comment about the President is news that Bill Clinton allegedly made a racist comment about our current president to Senator … Continue reading →
Yeeps! The Weekly Standard is reporting that a recent and credible poll has Republican Scott Brown taking a one point edge over Democrat Martha Coakley in the Massachusetts (in actuality, a statistical tie). Brown has closed the gap between No … Continue reading →
Well, this is something the Czar wondered about, but never had the energy or brainpower to research. Are you getting tired of seeing charts on how astonishingly much the average American spends on healthcare, and how little we receive treatment? … Continue reading →
It starts out nice. Scientists investigated whether or not dogs suffer from OCD in large numbers, and it turns out they do. In fact, larger breeds suffer from OCD (or CCD, id est canine compulsive disorder) at much higher rates, … Continue reading →
Harry Reid finally steps up and apologizes to the President for racial remarks he made during the 2008 campaign. At that time, he remarked that Barack Obama was “light-skinned” with “no Negro dialect.” Ironically, that describes Reid just as well. … Continue reading →
Finally, a massive breakthrough has been achieved on President Obama’s Rediscovered War on Terror: police finally nail the guy who walked past Newark airport non-security. Really? 28-year-old Haisong Jiang (sigh…okay, Volgi… Haisung Chiang) of (you guessed it) Piscataway, New Jersey, … Continue reading →
The Lord and Master of Space for Commerce knows how to write a freaking letter: Sir, Regarding yours of January 8th and drones killing Black Hats and etc. His Grace is of course aware of the line of thought so … Continue reading →
An editorial in The Wall Street Journal lauds President Obama’s use of drones in fighting the war on terror because “Weapons like the Predator kill far fewer civilians.” Provisionally true, but they do not win the war. Readers should be … Continue reading →
Mrs. Biden (our Vice President’s mother) has died. May God bless the entire Biden family in its time of grief. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although … Continue reading →
The Gormogons extend their sympathies to Vice President Biden and his family upon the death of his mother. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →
The Czar detests stereotypes. But this is certain to make people uncomfortable. A New York cab driver turns out to be an Islamic terrorist? Ouch. That isn’t going to help. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
Dec 25. Nutjob walks right through Amsterdam security, boards plane, burns himself trying to kill almost 300 people on board. Dec 26. Head of the National Counter-Terrorism Center goes on ski trip. Dec 27. DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano gleefully reports … Continue reading →
You don’t see too many hipster-nerd/NFL mashups, but this is really clever. Nice to see Buddy Ryan and Bobby Ross in there… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →JAB: Regarding the Chicago PD scrapping the entrance exam, surely Your Czarness understands that they are very sincere in their quest for diversity. In this case, we must presume that Chicago wishes to embrace those of diverse intellegences. You know, … Continue reading →
A news story is making the rounds that the star T Pyxidis may well one day go supernova. Cool, the story agrees, but its distance is much, much closer to us than we realized, and frankly, things would get really … Continue reading →
Very well done. Via Jonah. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →The Czar scans some headlines. Report of NCTC Chief’s Ski Trip Disputed. So Obama’s director of the National Counter-Terrorism Center learns of the Eunuch-bomber attack (thanks, JAB!) and proceeds immediately to leave on a ski trip. Any idea how much … Continue reading →
Brilliant and wealthy paranoid schizophrenic Walter Sartory was abducted, drugged, and set on fire. Probably can line out paranoid. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the … Continue reading →
Not in the LEAST safe for work. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →If Gov. David Paterson (D-NY) keeps this up, ‘Puter might just have to start believing the governor could win election to a full governor’s term in his own right. His state of the state speech yesterday may be the first … Continue reading →
On January 5th (Tuesday), press secretary Robert Gibbs was asked whether President Obama supports televising the healthcare reform bill reconciliation debates and discussions as requested by the open letter from the CEO of C-SPAN. Mr. Gibbs responded by saying that … Continue reading →
Mr. Orszag, President Obama’s hand-picked (presumably for his competence and focus) OMB Director is a newly acknowledged triple threat. Mr. Orszag divorced his first wife after siring two children several years ago. He is recently engaged to a new woman. … Continue reading →
—from the great Charles Addams. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →
JAB takes the time to send us another letter. Your Czarness: Poured myself an adult beverage yesterday evening and, like your Czarness, watched Obama deliver a mighty stern talkin’ to…to…to nobody in particular. He sounded to me like some Regional … Continue reading →
Far be it from the Czar to take the side of a union. But when something is this stupid, even we find ourselves in agreement. The problem? Chicago “diversity watchdogs” believe there are not enough minorities represented in the Chicago … Continue reading →
…the Gormogons gave to me: Twelve Dirty Teacherseleven Volgi weapons ten ‘Puters singing nine dancing Czars eight sex milking hits seven GorTs a’ traveling six Man’drin Bootingsfive Gor-mo-gonsfour bags of mailthree Guest Spotstwo Boxing Daysand a Hello Kitty in … Continue reading →
We actually showed up the following day. Turns out 1 B.C. wasn’t a leap year, and GorT didn’t want to make two trips. Don’t expect a joke about the lack of room at the inns. Leave it to the government … Continue reading →
The President is pretty mad about the Knickerbomber and his kabloomers. In typical Barack Obama fashion he said he will not tolerate finger-pointing, but hypocritically added “our intelligence community failed to connect those dots.” So evidently, what follows is the … Continue reading →
To continue a meme from my last post, I’ll reference a FoxNews item. Apparently, President Obama and democrat congress members are meeting to hammer out a compromise on the health care reform bill differences between the house and senate. Now, … Continue reading →
In a New York Times OpEd today, David Brooks writes about the rise of the Tea Party movement and America’s supposed growing disillusionment with the “educated class”. We need to stop right here and work through a definition of “educated … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar hates to send you twice in one day to the Los Angeles Times, but here is another example of a liberal whose world view is so stupidly polarized that he misses the point he himself is making. … Continue reading →
As your Mandarin has been listening to the various commentaries and news stories regarding the underwear bomber – which kind of brings new meaning to the phrase panty raid – I have come to the following realization: An Islamo-facist terrorist … Continue reading →
