Before the Fall
Like you, we have been wondering about Kim Jŏng Il. Sure, he’s an affable dresser and a bon vivant at potluck dinners. But what has he actually accomplished?
Quite a lot, as it turns out. Read through this list and ask yourself: is this any more ludicrous than Barack Obama winning the Peace Prize?
When the truth comes out, Jŏng’s fans are gonna be crushed. Perhaps literally.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.