Today’s New York Times breathlessly reports that:

Edward N. Peters, a professor at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, who last year was named by Pope Benedict XVI as a consultant to the Vatican court, the Apostolic Signatura, called the governor’s living situation “public concubinage” in his blog on Jan. 4, and said in a recent interview that Mr. Cuomo, who is Roman Catholic, must refrain from taking communion under canon law.

Dr. Peters goes on to state his opinion that the Holy Mother Church should deny Gov. Cuomo Holy Communion, should he seek it. Please note a couple of things. First, this position is Dr. Peter’s opinion, not the formal position of the Church.

‘Puter thinks Dr. Peters is wrong. Really wrong. Damagingly wrong. While ‘Puter believes fervently that the Church should vigorously defend its teachings, and insist that adherents do their best to comply, ‘Puter can’t defend publicly calling for the denial of Holy Communion to Gov. Cuomo.

‘Puter does not deny that Gov. Cuomo is shacked up with a hottie to whom he is not married. This runs afoul of numerous Church teachings, not the least of which is “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

That said, ‘Puter does not think Gov. Cuomo’s sinful behavior merits a public statement that the Church will deny the governor Communion. Gov. Cuomo’s behavior is (mostly) private. He is not calling for married New Yorkers to ditch their spouses and start banging the neighborhood tramp. He is not publicly condemning the sacrament of marriage. He is sinning, mostly privately, and that is between Gov. Cuomo, his confessor and God.

Shacking up is not the same as public advocacy in support of abortion. In that instance, liberal, nominally Catholic luminaries such as Rep. Nancy Pelosi and recently deceased Sen. Ted Kennedy actively call Catholics to ignore Church teaching, and support the destruction of innocent human life. Pro-abortion Catholics (an oxymoron, in ‘Puter’s estimation) advocate to lead others into sin, and their actions promote murder.

Gov. Cuomo is pro-abortion. However, nothing he has done in his public life as governor to this point has amounted to public advocacy for abortion. He has been, to the best of ‘Puter’s knowledge, silent on the issue since his election, likely because stanching the fiscal hemorrhaging is occupying most of his time. When Gov. Cuomo starts advocating for increasing abortion funding or some such, get back to ‘Puter.

All that said, ‘Puter does think according to Catholic doctrine that Gov. Cuomo is in a state of continuing sin and should of his own volition not present himself for Communion until such time as he has been absolved of his sins through the sacrament of Reconciliation.

In ‘Puter’s estimation, this is not a public fight the Church should seek. As the governor has not made it a public issue, deal with it privately. Save the public condemnation for the big issues.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.