‘Puter had thought to post concerning the cowardly and brutal sexual assault on CBS News reporter Lara Logan, but chickened out. Then Czar, as is his wont, rushed in where angels fear to tread, posting a thoughtful and reasoned analysis of the horrible crime. ‘Puter would like to discuss a slightly different topic, one that has not been discussed openly in media circles.

It is a truth, though vigorously disputed by femynysts and other womyn’s ryghts gryyps, that men and women are different, both biologically and psychologically. And, simply by virtue of their gender, women are more vulnerable to rape and sexual assault. Howl at the moon all you want, but it won’t change the facts.

Given the facts in the preceding paragraph, ‘Puter wondered whether news agencies owe a differing duty of care to their female reporters.

For instance, would it be appropriate to ban women reporters from mob scenes or NFL locker rooms, which, come to think of it, are one and the same thing? ‘Puter thinks not.

However, ‘Puter does think it is reasonable, and advisable, for news agencies to require consent from reporters assigned to cover events known in advance to be dangerous. It should be explained that there is a non-negligible chance that they will experience life-changing injury or even death reporting from violent hotspots, and that the employer cannot guarantee reporters’ safety. The risk of arrest, capture and/or incarceration should also be raised, particularly when reporting from non-free countries. And, for women, the risk of sexual assault and rape. If a reporter refused to sign an offered the consent form, the reporter should not be assigned to the story.

‘Puter fears that in this politically correct culture, we fail to recognize and to name inherent truths. For example, men and women are different, and at times, it is rational and good to treat them differently. In failing to speak the truth, whether out of fear or out of mistaken belief, we create circumstances where avoidable tragic consequences may occur.

‘Puter does not blame Ms. Logan’s employer for her assault, nor Ms. Logan for doing her job from a dangerous locale. ‘Puter blames the individual Egyptian perpetrators, and hopes they get the justice they deserve in this life and the next.

That said, ‘Puter does suspect that political correctness prevented an employer and an employee from having a direct conversation concerning the dangers inherent in reporting from a mob scene/revolution/war zone, lest the employer be accused of sexism. ‘Puter thinks many female reporters would be loathe to raise their legitimate concerns for fear that they be perceived as soft or unworthy. ‘Puter further suspects that the failure to have such an uncomfortable conversation led both employer and employee to underestimate the risks associated with this particular assignment.

If CBS News and Ms. Logan did have a thorough discussion about her dangerous assignment, good for them. If the employer and employee did not, they were derelict.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.