Over at Big Journalism, Kurt Schlichter has a spot-on essay that nailed something the Czar has had trouble describing.

He writes that liberal media, whenever they feel the need to include a conservative viewpoint, have a gaggle of people he calls “conservanerds” for quote-mining purposes. These are folks who purport to have (and probably have considerable) conservative leanings, but are as close to liberals as liberals can tolerate.

The liberals believe that these are real conservatives—not terribly objectionable—who behave predictably.

Conservanerds aren’t hard to identify. You can tell one by listening to him for about 15 seconds, by which time you will be overcome by a desire to either slap him or take his lunch money. You can find them dwelling at the fringes of liberal culture – they are allowed to attend the cocktail parties as the token conservative, tolerated by their masters in return for passive obedience and the occasional swipe at Sarah Palin and her intolerable uppityness.

These are guys who, when put on the spot, will admit the liberal is right about healthcare, or perhaps higher taxes. Or whatever the topic is. The Czar has remarked that one of the individuals cited by name therein will wait to see whatever Jonah Goldberg says on a topic and immediately refute it.

The Czar might have chosen a better name for them, but agrees completely with Schlichter’s argument and examples.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.