Mailbag Fun!
I’m cleaning out teh Intrawebs and lo’ and behold I got a piece o’ mail from operative junior-grade crash test scientist, BG:
Dear GorTechie:
Regarding Rep. Edward Markey’s claim that we’re in Libya for the oil, perhaps he should follow the age-old rule, “research first, shoot off mouth later.”
The U.S. imports insignificant amounts of crude oil and petroleum from Libya. We import more crude oil from Argentina than we do from Libya; we import more petroleum from the Virgin Islands – that’s right, the Virgin Islands – than we do from Libya.
Oh, I suppose Markey could claim that oil is a fungible commodity, it all goes on the world market, blah blah blah, but that just undermines his argument further; if Libya is going to dump its oil in the world market pool, we don’t need to be there to protect our interests. There may be other good reasons to be there, but this isn’t one of them.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.