So the Czar found a copy of The New York Times laying about (we choose these words specifically as a pointed jab), and flipped through it. Within was an interesting article on the weird socio-political No Woman’s Land that Camilla and Kate find themselves in.

In some odd effort to be helpful, the NYT thought it good to mention that recent polls indicate a large percentage of Brits want Charles to abdicate, when his time comes, to William, as the latter is far more popular.

Evidently, the British are a bit unclear on how a monarchy works. Polls? Popularity? Want? Well, they could extend their democracy to include the monarchy, but the Czar won’t hold his breath. Instead, he will explain it less gently to the British: Prince Charles does not care what you want or whom you find more appealing as king. When he becomes King, he won’t freaking have to.

But good luck, friends, on that whole “who reports to whom” ideology. We aren’t too happy with our leadership, but 2012 is a short skip away.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.