Ay-yi-yi, on the one hand. But on the other hand, the Czar is delighted so many of you are grouping your emails together by subject.

DT wants to add a little to Dr. (KN) J’s explication of the buget resolution:

Dr. J’s metaphor is lacking one bit. After “a (modest) celebratory meal to appropriately acknowledge your newfound solid fiscal footing.” I’d suggest adding: “You then hold a gun to your boss’s head and force him to give you a raise, or just put it on your kids’ credit cards. “

And that’s okay, but you know who really wants to refute it? Dr. (KN)J himself:

O Most Dread and Piratical Czar,

As a counterpoint to my previous missive about the Federal FY 2011 budget,let me note that any mathematician worth his (or her) oxygen can always argue both sides of any issue. Here, then, is my snappy rejoinder (today) to myself (yesterday):

However pathetic and useless the budget cuts may be, they represent a major “unforced error” on the part of the Democrats. Recall that this is the FY 2011 budget that is currently being considered – had the Democrats simply done their job in 2010 when they controlled both houses of Congress and the White House, the Republicans would have had *no* input into this budget, and mathematicians would be working for years to come up with appropriate numbers to describe the deficits that would be wrought thereby (how does “1.5 megajillion” sound?). Were it not for the incompetence and stupidity of the Democrat “kick the can” strategy of last year, the current Congress (you know, the one where the Republicans get to talk sometimes) would not be involved until the FY 2012 budget, which is yet to come.

Hoping you enjoyed your hike,
–Dr. (KN)J,
Royal Mathematician to the Gormogons

This is the sort of madness we love around here.

Hey, speaking of that hike our family took, former independent presidential candidate JA wrote in to say:

I grew up in LaSalle, so of course Starved Rock is known to me, but how does a Chicagoan know about a fairly unknown place like Starved Rock? Plus, it’s a heck of a hike from Chicago for a day trip.

Anyway, it’s a great park; hope you enjoyed the trip.

Indeed, we did.

The Czar would be surprised if most Chicagoans had not heard of Starved Rock. Canyons, waterfalls, hills, trails, and all the things that the other 49 states swear Illinois does not have.

For us, it is a quick 75-minute trip from Muscovy: take 55 South to 80 West, and exit at Utica. Free parking, free admission, and an unbelievable amount of free nature. This time, we did the Starved Rock – Lodge/Fox Canyon – French Canyon – Wildcat Canyon – Beehive Overlook – Eagle Cliff – Lover’s Leap circuit. The place was fairly crowded due to the nice weather, and crammed with dogs. Okay, some of those dogs were real pros: we saw a collie carrying his own gear on a canine harness (and iced one, because a collie cannot take that kind of heat), an amazing three-legged dog scrambling up the trails, and a cool-looking heeler with a red bandana collar. However, seriously: who brings a Pomeranian to a place like this? And the Czar is not sure, but the lady carrying the Airedale terrier on her shoulders probably was going to shut down in about five more minutes. That’s a heavy pooch, lady, and he was perfectly able to walk on his own.

Next time we go, the older boy is eager to hit Buffalo Rock, but the younger guy wants to hit the Aurora Canyon – Sac Canyon – Kickapoo Canyon – St. Louis Canyon circuit. The Czar thinks both might get their wish.

Chicago area readers ought to plan a trip there soon, before the waterfalls dry up for the season. Or, go in winter, where you will see America’s largest gathering of bald eagles in one spot. Starved Rock is everything Illinois is not supposed to be. And based on the bumper stickers and tee-shirts, that includes “pro-Republican.”

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.