Dr. J Likes Ice Cream - The Gormogons

The Royal Surgeon writes in to comment on this post from earlier today (or was that tomorrow….being a time travelling robot makes it hard to orient you humans):

GorT,
Your observation that the Obama Administration has more versions of ‘Let’s Get Bin Laden’ than Baskins and Robbins has flavors is spot on. The possible reasons for this are legion:
As you said, it could be exuberance or naiveté.
It could be to avoid self-incrimination. After all they would want AG Holder to prosecute anyone within the administration for war crimes. (Wait, we can’t say we ordered him killed, we don’t do assassinations…)
They’re trying to have an Arab Street friendly or unfriendly version (He hid behind a woman, no he didn’t) .
They’re trying to have a Daily Kos friendly version (He had a weapon).
In other words, they’re trying to have it all, so they’re throwing multiple versions out there so that they don’t get in trouble with someone.
Telling the truth is such a foreign concept to them that they just don’t know how to do it.
They should have a single straight story, because President Obama ordered the action himself, AND they all watched it on TV as it unfolded, and because it’s the EASIEST way to proceed.
Sadly the Obama administration won’t be able to satisfy all of the people all of the time. They just need to accept that.
Best,
Dr. J.
Royal Surgeon

Totally agree just with nuances: I would characterize numbers 2-5 as naiveté in that they are so naive to not realize the ramifications of trying all these (or some of these) options that it’s causing more problems. I like number 6 a lot – thinking back on my post that would have been a great third option. Clearly with the group pictured and a similar group that was with Director Panetta, I would think the easy route would be a similar story. I think this goes beyond the old children’s puzzle books where you looked at a picture for a minute then turned the page and answered questions about what you remember seeing. The pertinent details of such a critical effort should be easily recalled. The one missing element that both the Royal Doctor and I might have over looked could be: (7) the decline in real journalism and rise in the instant-gratification, twitter-rific news feeds has pushed media outlets to report on any and every “detail” of this story whether it comes from @AlfIsMyLeader or the White House Press Secretary.

GorT

GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.