The Czar has just returned from seeing Thor with the family, all of whom endorse the movie as whopping good entertainment. As a sort-of review, the Czar will entertain your most essential questions, so that you can decide if you should see it on the big screen or wait for video or skip the thing entirely. The most common questions are answered.

Is this a good movie for dogs to see?

Dogs will not care for the loud, explosive effects and will try to hide under the theater seats. This movie is not recommended for dogs. You should leave them at home.

Is this a good movie for cats?

Cats are into more artistic films, particularly foreign films with plenty of subtitles. Unfortunately, there will not be much here to challenge a cat, who will likely become bored by mere dialogue.

Is this a good movie for logical positivists?

Very little of the movie relies on a priori constructs, which will appeal to empiracists; however, the inability of science to explain or comprehend Thor’s powers will likely divide those who support Popper falsifiabiliy, fueling the metaphysical argument from scientific statements of fact.

Does this movie support or endorse free trade in Urugay?

This movie avoid any discussion of economics in South America whatsoever. Parents will be relieved to know that they can avoid any awkward discussion or explanation of free trade zones with the little ones.

How does the movie address the Facebook vs. Twitter sociology?

The movie makes a clear statement supporting Facebook. Those with easily offended Twittering sensibilities might therefore wish to skip this movie.

Will this movie help me decide between a walk-behind mower or a riding mower?

The movie is set in two locations: Asgaard and the New Mexican desert; as such, there is little discussion of lawn mowing or landscaping of any kind, nor any depictions of lawn mowing. The ending leaves the debate quite open to interpretation, but if your lawn is large enough, you should probably consider a riding mower as they are, ultimately, more efficient than a walk-behind.

Does the movie provide any explanation of Brownian motion?

About a third of the way through, the character of Lintz pauses to explain Brownian motion with some ingenious graphics, but without any difficult mathematics to dissuade younger viewers. Most viewers of the film are likely to come away with a renewed appreciation for the molecular physics of fluid dynamics.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.