More and more people are concluding that Barack Obama is one of America’s worst presidents. And that’s just among his office staff. The GOP, as this site has warned ad nauseum, has to be extremely careful to pick the right candidate: not just because the country is very much in danger, but because it might be too easy to defeat the Democrats in 2012. We don’t want to wind up with just anyone, but someone who can really help the country.

The GOP will need a candidate who meets the following criteria:

—Is courageous

—Is loyal

—Is not scared to show some bite

—Is charismatic

—Is flexible

—Is able to know right from wrong

—Is going to be around in four years

—Is able to defeat the Democratic smear campaign certain to follow

And the Czar has concluded, this is the ideal candidate:

Him’s a good boy! Good boy!

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.