The Czar notices we have not touched Weiner’s wiener.

Let us suppose the Congressman is innocent of sending an obscene photograph to a college girl. What we have is a member of Congress who has somehow been hacked. If someone has his Twitter password, who is to say his other accounts were not also hacked? Would you not want to have the FBI find the person who did it and put them away for a long time? Why goof around with press conferences, non-specific answers, and requests to change the subject? If the Congressman is indeed telling the truth, then it is of urgent national interest to find out who is responsible, and for him to assist with the investigation in every way.

Or let us suppose he is responsible for the picture. Why not simply step up and say, “Yes, that’s me. And I’m sorry something so personal got out into the public.” The press gets over themselves, and they move on in less time than it took Rep. Weiner to fumble though his initial press conference.

Unfortunately, the public perception—which, let’s face it, often determines the outcome of elections—is that he is the source of the photograph. The lack of a clear denial, the reluctance to investigate, and the timeline are all simple to understand, if we use Occam’s razor and presume he is solely responsible.

There is an aspect to this story that we have not yet examined, and that is the Congressman’s complete condescension throughout this process. If he is the perpetrator, one must be nauseated by his arrogance: here is a guy who fits a pattern terribly familiar with politicians—the guy who can do anything he wants without consequences, because he thinks he is so much smarter and so much more powerful and so much more important than we mere serfs. If Rep. Weiner did do this, then he obviously assumed he could just claim he was hacked, and we would buy it, and move on.

Once again, another political career is wrecked because reality shows that the American voter is still the smarter animal. These guys aren’t nearly as smart, clever, or influential as they think they are in their echo chambers, and when they bump into real Americans, well, they come off looking very stupid. And evidently, as countless disgraced politicians demonstrate, they still don’t understand that.

Unless of course Rep. Weiner is innocent, in which case the Czar will apologize and the Congressman will be happy to cooperate fully with the investigation by the FBI.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.