Where’s Tea Leoni When We Need Her?
At 1:14pm EDT a small asteroid the size of a bus will make an extremely close pass by the Earth but it poses no threat to the planet. 2011MD (the asteroid) will make its closest approach at 1714 GMT on June 27 and will pass just over 7,500 miles (12,000 kilometers) above the Antarctic coast south of South Africa, NASA officials say.
The Sleestak and Dat Ho are already cowering in the Castle’s dungeons fearing for the riots, social unrest and Elijah Wood’s unstable motocycle driving skills. ‘Puter plans on being on the back deck doing some grenade fishing – he asked the Mandy and I to work out the math to see if the asteroid’s minor gravity pull will help attract the fish to the surface or does he need to use the larger grenades.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.