Corporations are People and so is Soylent Green
The Czar stated the following in an earlier post:
Last week, Mitt Romney famously declared “Corporations are people, too, my friend.” The media high-fived each other and ran with it. Ha! What a bonehead that Mitt Rom—wait, what is that? Someone fact-checked this one, and the story died almost instantly. Why? Because, ahem, corporations are people. They are managers and employees, vendors, suppliers, distributors to and for, and (most importantly) customers. Evidently, no one in the media realized this fact;
But the wise Czar left one observation out of his post: once the media found out (shocking!) that corporations are people the next logical step that one could take is that taxing those evil corporations are….gasp….taxing PEOPLE. Where’s that clip from Scanners? You know the one – where the guy’s head shakes violently (fair warning it shows what it says) and then explodes. Yep. Cue that up. Next they’ll figure out that Keynesian economics doesn’t work either. Stay tuned.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.