‘Puter’s just synopsizing Katrina vanden Heuvel’s ridiculously awful diatribe in this morning’s Washington Post. Feel free to peruse the hard left’s 2012 game plan here.

‘Puter doesn’t know how many times he’s going to have to deconstruct the left’s preferred narrative as being (1) patently false, (2) illogical and (3) dangerous. But ‘Puter’s going to keep on keeping on until the left cuts this bovine excrement out.

Ms. vanden Heuvel’s argument rests heavily on the following false premise. There is no part of government that can possibly be cut in any manner. Each and every government worker is essential.

The August employment report shows that the public sector got hit hard again — losing 17,000 jobs. In states across the country, public workers aren’t just being laid off; they’re being made into economic scapegoats. These workers deserve to be treated fairly any time. But in the wake of Hurricane Irene, as we watched teams of federal, state and local government workers tirelessly saving lives, and on the eve of the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, they deserve much better.

Intriguing unspoken theory, Ms. vanden Heuvel. The idea that decreased funding and commensurate layoffs of government employees equates to making us less safe. At odds with your position, ‘Puter recalls that there has been a significant increase in funding for first responders in recent years. As to Hurricane Irene, FEMA funding increased 3.3% from 2009 to 2010. As to first responders, the Department of Homeland Security’s budget increased 14% from 2007 to 2009. And, as all good readers know, there is no FY 2011 federal budget because the Democrats were too chicken to pass one in the run up to the 2010 elections, even though they controlled both houses of Congress and the executive branch.

Ms. vanden Heuvel waxes nostalgic, alleging that post 9/11, “[t]here was a new found respect for public service and a heartening change in how Americans viewed their government.” Maybe this was the case for Ms. vanden Heuvel’s hippie-era lefty friends, weaned on “sticking it to the man” and “fighting the power,” all the while becoming a part of the establishment they claimed to hate. Most of ‘Puter’s conservative friends never lost respect for the essential functions of government, from first responders to construction workers. ‘Puter’s friends never ceased loathing the federal government’s usurpation of state prerogatives, or even worse, the rights and duties of individuals. So, despite what Ms. vanden Heuvel implies, the position of many on the right concerning government did not meaningfully change after 9/11.

Ms. vanden Heuvel continues to misrepresent conservatives, stating:

In the 10 years since, those and other public workers haven’t been any less heroic or any less essential. But they have been significantly less appreciated, even demonized. “There are a lot of government employees that need to go find a real job,” Rep. Paul Broun (Ga.), a Tea Party favorite, snorted in June. For too many on the right, a government worker isn’t a worker at all.

This, more than anything, comes from a broadening acceptance that government can do no good. Anti-tax zealot Grover Norquist infamously called for government to be made so small that it could be drowned in a bathtub. But even within the far-right fringes, it used to be the case that government, though small, was supposed to serve essential functions. Chief among them: Providing security to its citizens, doing for the people what no private corporation could.

This, if anything, reinforces ‘Puter’s position. That is, the right believes exactly what Ms. vanden Heuvel claims it not longer does: the federal government should be limited and small, serving only those purposes that it is uniquely qualified to serve. Further, ‘Puter does not understand how Rep. Paul Broun’s quotation above proves Ms. vanden Heuvel’s claim that the right believes “government can do no good.” It is not inconsistent to believe that a limited federal government is needed, while at the same time believing that a lot of government workers are unnecessary, as their jobs do not advance a core federal role.

That is, in small words and slowly spoken for Ms. vanden Heuvel and her fellow travelers’ benefit, conservatives believe that many, many government jobs are unnecessary. As such, they are not only beyond the Founders’ vision for federal government, but also a drag on the economy, since funding these unnecessary taxes increases costs on people who actually make something for a living.

Lest you think ‘Puter is some sort of Paulista who believes in a puritanical libertarianism, mosey over to this list of the federal government agencies, sponsored by the federal government itself. The agencies run from the Access Board to the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars. (The federal government has not yet devised agencies starting with the letters X through Z, nor for the letters K or Q, but give it time). Perhaps Ms. vanden Heuvel is correct. How could we possibly go on without paying federal taxes to support the Open World Leadership Center? And how many would die if we were to cut funding for the English Language Acquisition Office? Lord only knows the horror that would result in defunding the Stennis Center for Public Service. And plainly folks in New Mexico fully support paying taxes for the continued existence of the Susquehanna River Basin Commission, regardless of the fact that said river basin is some 3,000 or so miles away from them.

Kidding aside, Ms. vanden Heuvel simply cannot be serious that there is not one nonessential government job. And, despite ‘Puter’s critique of Ms. vanden Heuvel’s propaganda filled screed, ‘Puter does not minimize the horrible impact job loss would have on laid off public workers. But these unnecessary federal agencies and jobs drag on economic growth, each contributing to our sprawling federal government and its insatiable appetite for job cratering regulations.

Ms vanden Heuvel next attacks republicans in Congress for insisting that we pay for what we spend, regardless of whether the expense item is disaster relief or middle class welfare. Is this really the horror show Ms. vanden Heuvel expects? Zero out funding for farm welfare, and you’ve got more than enough to pay for Hurricane Irene’s damage, with enough left over to fund NPR for another few years.

Turning to the scourge of right thinking liberals everywhere, Ms. vanden Heuvel attacks New Jersey Governor Chris Christie for accepting federal disaster relief while cutting state jobs and benefits. Again, ‘Puter has amply argues that believing certain portions of federal government are good is not inconsistent with believing that others are bad.

And don’t even get ‘Puter started on the gap between salaries and benefits for similarly situated public and private sector employees. ‘Puter has recounted, and you have doubtless heard, numerous horror stories about the size and cost of government pensions. ‘Puter need not rehash his numerous postings on this subject, as it is tangential to the matter at hand.

Further, Ms. vanden Heuvel lies — yes, actively and knowingly lies — about the right’s position on government. As ‘Puter has noted before, the mainstream Republican position is that government is too big and does to many things it ought not. There is no serious Republican advocating destroying the government’s ability to perform its proper role. None.

Unable to advance her argument on the merits, Ms. vanden Heuvel resorts to the lamest of all liberal arguments: class warfare. And she’s not even particularly good at it.

There’s no question that, in any number of ways, government lets us down. Our leaders have too often stacked government against the interests of working people in favor of corporate elites. But was it overpaid and undertaxed CEOs who saved flood victims or rushed into the towers? Our impulse should not be to renounce government; it should be to recapture and restore it.

Ms. vanden Heuvel has no shame. Resort to 9/11 arguments to support your big government economic program is reprehensible. ‘Puter had a college acquaintance who was a well compensated bond trader and Cantor Fitzgerald. He would fall into that overpaid and undertaxed group Ms. vanden Heuvel disparages. He was vaporized on 9/11 when a plane piloted by jihadis slammed directly into the floor on which he worked. He left behind a wife and children. He was no better or worse than the blue collar cops and firemen who died that day. Each died the way ‘Puter’s acquaintance did: doing his job. There was no class distinction in the carnage.

Taken as a whole, Ms. vanden Heuvel’s piece is nothing more than a wordy, plaintive cry for help. Liberals realize their views are thoroughly discredited. From hope and change to Keynesian economics, everything liberals’ beliefs touch turns to dust. Liberals’ only remaining hope it to convince voters that despite all evidence, we just haven’t given liberal views a fair shake yet.

Good luck with that argument.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.