Chicago Sun-Times “columnist” (that’s how he’s billed, although this is a major stretch) Jesse Jackson…or more realistically, whoever is ghost-writing his crap…today accuses the Republicans of intent to commit voter fraud. Really.

As the campaigns for the 2012 presidential election begin, Republicans are trying to rig the rules. In 38 states, they are pushing measures that will effectively lock millions of the young, the poor, the elderly and minorities out of the election booth. This is the most systematic rollback of voting rights since the segregated South invented literacy tests, poll taxes and intimidation to bar blacks from voting.

Wow. Well, here are the facts.

1. He knowingly omits that the Democrats used literacy tests, poll taxes, and intimidation (in the form of the Ku Klux Klan) to bar blacks from voting. The Republicans have always encouraged blacks to vote. Yes, Jackson, really. History contradicts each and every one of your examples.
2. The rig Republicans are using? The requirement to show identification, particularly in light of the proven ACORN fiasco, to ensure that there is one vote per person, and that actual people are voting.
3. Jackson assumes that requiring proof-of-identity automatically prevents young, poor, elderly, and minorities from voting…because, of course, they cannot prove they exist. Legally, anyway.
4. The premise assumes that the Republicans are doing this to prevent people from voting for Democrats. This, ironically, only works if you are okay with Democrats voting illegally.
5. Therefore, Jackson accuses the Republicans of rigging the elections because it prevents Democrats from rigging the elections.

And this is exactly why Jesse Jackson has become a bizarre oddity from another time, a laughing stock whose time has come and gone. He thinks these bizarro-universe accusations still have currency in an age of the post-racial President, for whom he (a) wept openly during election night and (b) wanted to castrate a couple weeks prior.

Nope, sorry, Jackson. You shot the wad a while ago, and these 1970s-style “down with whitey” speeches, all fancied up with trendy words but still following the same arguments, have not been taken seriously in a while. But this rant of yours was most enjoyable if for no other reason that you cannot even take the time to hide the lunacy embedded within.

Your notions of racist conspiracy and double standards and dire warnings about the return of Segregation sound about as bat-shit crazy as another politician who demands more media attention than he deserves.

You made plenty of money off the backs of gullible black Chicagoans. Now it’s time to hang it up and retire. No one will think less of you—in fact, after vile polemics like yours today, it is hard to fathom that anyone could.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.