The Gormogons would like to take a moment to offer some corrections from recent posts.

• In a recent post on Joe Paterno, the Czar referred to the Penn State head coach as “a lying, hate-filled scumbag who cared more about his self-worship than the lives of children.” He meant to describe the head coach as “a lying, hate-filled slimebag who cared more about his self-worship than the lives of children.” The Czar would also like to add the word “loathesome.”
• In a recent Tweet, the Mandarin stated that intense blue ethyl viologen from the bipyridinium group requires a reversible absorption of an electron toward pale blue transformation according to the rules of electrochromatic dying, when in fact it is irreversible. The Mandarin neither recalls making such a basic error, nor how he fit that into 140 characters.
• In late September, Dr. J stated that an arterial embolism procedure is classified as a 445 under the ICD9, when of course he meant atheroembolism. The good doctor would like to apologize to Mrs. Roberta Freel, who is now sporting zebra-striped skin as a result of the mixup, and on behalf of all the Gormogons, suggests that it is rather fetching for a tired, old gasbag such as herself.
• Last week, Ghettoputer mistakenly identified a news organization as a liberal activist group, referring to them as “stupid ass hats who are so stupid that their least stupid bits are moron twit factories.” ‘Puter does not regret the error.
• The Volgi is far too busy to post anymore, which technically makes him error free. In fact, the less he posts, the fewer errors that occur, right? He points out, though, that the President’s popularity seems to climb in the polls the less he speaks, meaning this effect could have wider implications.
• On Tuesday, GorT responded to a text message in which he advised that a bomb squad treat the red wire as a common wire, not as a ground wire. While technically correct, he would like to remind home disarmers that black wires could also be used for common wires, and that white neutrals can look red under nighttime flashlights. He wishes he thought to add this sooner, and would like to apologize to the handful of survivors who stumbled out of the smoke and flying glass outside the entire town of Mendle, Iowa, and is quite sure family will take you in.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.