“We’ve had Siri-like tech for more than a year,” whines Microsoft, even though they insist that whining-like wheedle isn’t whining at all. First, and this will be quick, the Czar is immediately annoyed with anybody who says “tech” instead of “technology.”

Back to the original point. Microsoft is probably telling the truth that they had something like Siri. But once again, Apple found a way to make it connect with people. A combination of marketing, availability, ease-of-use, and elegance is generally going to win the hearts and minds of people more than a clunky, less-than-popular phone interface with bloated code and a propensity for bizarre behavior requiring a restart. As you can tell, the Czar once had a Windows phone. His pleasure with that product is why he switched to the far-less-problematic (but still quite often inexplicable) Droid interface.

So what is Microsoft’s point? The Czar has no idea. Is it to point out that Microsoft had a good idea but did nothing to market it? If so, congratulations, dopes. Is it that Apple took Microsoft’s product idea and released it in a more numerically widepsread form? Perhaps the last item is true; if so, it would be delicious irony.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.