Been a fair amount of Christmas music funking up the place lately.

And about this time of year, you get to hear—if you’re lucky—Jackie Evancho’s “Silent Night” or her knock-your-socks-off “O Holy Night” version that oughta make Dr. J bawl.

The Czar is riveted with her, because she is possibly the strongest proof of the existence of a higher power who would grant a voice like that. Forget sunsets and ocean waves and wimpy lightning stuff. Talent like this is neither made nor earned, but loaned. So in lieu of the Christmas stuff, and if you don’t know why the Czar is consistently stunned with her, here is Jacqueline Marie Evancho’s version of Ave Maria in 2009…at age nine. And she has gotten better since then.

Prepare to be knocked over.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.