Seeing as how it is the Christmas season, your Mandarin is in the giving mood, and based on the actions of the Boston Public Schools, he would like to send them a special Yuletide themed Boot in the Gut.

It seems that a 7-year-old boy is being investigated for possible sexual harassment. What could a 7-year have done that would construe sexual harassment? Did he kiss one of the other girls on the bus? Nope. His offense was defending himself from a bully that was choking him and trying to steal his hat. So this 7-year-old boy did what any dad or self-defense instructor would tell someone to do against a larger attacker and kicked the bully straight in his “Christmas Cookies” if you get the euphemism.

The Boston Public Schools should be worrying less about whether the boy that was kicked in the groin felt harassed, and more about the potential lawsuit from the parents of the boy that was being bullied by this newest member of the soprano section of the choir. The school says that this incident will be treated like sexual harassment, due to what is considers inappropriate touching. Too bad this kid wasn’t in the teachers’ union or coached for Penn State. He would have gotten to sit in the teachers’ lounge for the next couple of years collecting a paycheck.

And what about the inappropriate touching by the bully? Strangulation of a fellow classmate on the bus is OK? Our little groin kicker shouldn’t have to be fearful for his safety on the bus. It is the responsiblity of the schools to protect children from being bullied by other students, or they need to get out of the way and not act shocked when a student protects himself. Then again, your Mandarin is sure that these school administrators also believe that you shouldn’t harm an intruder in your home, but rather call the police and wait for them to arrive while the intruder robs your home and treatens the safety of your family.

Hopefully the Boston Public School system will realize that there is a difference between some child fondling one of his fellow classmates and the desire for self-preservation.

So in closing, please enjoy the Boot in the Gut with the festive Christmas wrapping. And for ordering your Boot in the Gut early, your Mandarin will be waiving the shipping and handling fees.

The Mandarin

The Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century.

The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or Barry (who can be found in the Bestiary). When not in the Castle…well, frankly, nobody is quite sure where he goes.

The Mandarin popularized the fine art of “gut booting,” by which he delivers a powerful kick to the stomach of anyone that annoys him. Although nearly universal today, the act of gut booting or threatening someone or something with a gut boot is solely due to him.