Some things that Hollywood writers will never admit?

First, corporate CEOs do not reside in castle-like offices at the top of skyscrapers, with wood trimmed walls, fireplaces, massive desks, and impossibly large windows. The Czar has been in many CEO offices; while they can be larger than the average 10′ x 12′ space, they usually have the same carpeting, the same paint scheme, the same windows, and the same 8′-6″ floor to ceiling height as everyone else. Their artwork might be a little nicer, and they usually have a pretty nice chair, but that’s about it. Oh, and a couple have a very functional bathroom tucked away on the side.

The goverment does not have unlimited funds for new, powerful, and almost magical technology. Intelligence operatives actually live in crappy hotel rooms and ordinary apartments, have to claw and scratch to get a weapon made in the last 10 years, and have to fill out a dozen pieces of paperwork every time they fire a weapon. And they drive crappy cars.

Most white people do not have a single, close black friend. They have numerous friends, a few black, a few Hispanic, some Asian, and a few with tough foreign accents. In other words, the diversity of people white people know is much richer overall than Hollywood thinks. Possibly Hollywood writers have one black friend, if they have any friends at all. So that explains it.

Few people live in a three-bedroom penthouse apartment in downtown LA or Manhattan with a well-appointed office. But any movie character who is in advertising, works at a hospital, is an architect, a reporter, a liberal arts professor, works in city government, or is employed in finance always seems to have a superlative, well-furnished apartment. In reality, these people live in fairly ordinary places. In movies, though, only cops are allowed to live in run-down apartments; in reality, cops live in fairly nice suburban homes. Makes sense; Hollywood writers have no experience with any of these people to know better.

Chicagoans do not eat deep dish pizza. For the love of God, this is only something they force tourists to spend money on. Want to film an accurate dining scene in Chicago? Have them wolfing down a beef sandwich.

In movies, small town folk often appear stupid initially, but wind up being practical, wise, and down-to-earth intelligent people. In reality, small town folk are just as stupid as big city folk. Things just cost a whole lot less.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.