A lot of us are wondering about Eric Holder’s depth of involvement in Fast and Furious, and exactly what he authorized. We finally obtained the authorization in question, which his office released moments ago:

From: Eric Holder, Attorney General, United States

To:                

Date:      

Re:          Y                                f!

I                                                                                     .                                                                                                          ?                                                                                      have                   .                                                                                              no                           ;                      involvement in               .                                                                                 ?                                         !            :                    )                                              )                                           )                                   anything.

Uh, for what it’s worth.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.