Borepatch found this for the Czar, and GorT was nice enough to arrange a live performance by the composer. As Borepatch explains in his own post, this is perhaps the oldest song for which we have extremely high confidence that we know how it sounded, going back to 138 BC. Wanna go back in time with GorT sometime? This is the kind of sounds you would hear.

The music sounds to the Czar’s ear like (2+3)/4 time signature, which you rarely hear outside some really weird composers today, but was not uncommon for the time and is still used around the world today. That’s two beats followed by three beats, where the quarter note gets one beat; but it isn’t 5/4 time as you can hear a clear rhythmic break between the 2 and the 3 count.

It is a tad long for Western ears at over 6 minutes (frankly, “Fool in the Rain” by Led Zeppelin is therefore too long, too), but is spooky enough for you to enjoy a minute or two sample of it. Borepatch’s research says this was written as a “Delphic Hymn to Apollo” by Athenaios Athenaiou (which may not be his real name, as that translates to “An Athenian from Athens”) for the Pythian Games. If that is the guy’s actual name, BMI should probably be out looking for him, as they owe him a whopping fat check. Didn’t NBC Sports just televise an encore presentation of the Pythian Games?

The lyrics, which begin with “Τὀν κιθαρἱσει κλυτὁν παιδα μεγἁλου Διὁς,” translate to:

Ooh, uhhh, baby, gonna pump you up
Pump you up, pump you up.
Gonna pump you up all night.

Ooh, uhhh, baby, gonna rev it up
Rev it up, rev it up.
Gonna rev it up ‘til light.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
Gotta get your beat on
Gotta get your beat on
Gotta break the beat tonight.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
Gotta get your beat on
Gotta get your beat on
Gotta break the beat tonight.

Pretty wild.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.