Well, the Czar found a superb way to waste an entire evening, which did not involve being further demoralized by the Black Hawks at all.

The Czar’s television set is wired to the Internet. Dunno why, really, but every so often the thing downloads updates from the manufacturer for who knows what purposes.

If you push the network button on the remote, it pops up an interface for Netflix as well as Youtube. We do not use the former, and have no particular interest in the latter when of course we can view Youtube from an iPad or computer elsewhere in the dacha, wirelessly.

But then, this afternoon, the Czar had an interesting idea that cost him the afternoon, dinner, and all the way to after dark. The Czar gathered the kids around the television, fired up Youtube, and in large screen format, watched a handful of classic episodes of Kolchak: The Night Stalker.

The Czar expects to get lots of email on this from Dr. J and assorted types. No, we are not referring to the disastrously unresearched remake a couple of years back, but the original show with Darren McGavin. The Czar loved this show when it was originally on television in the Autumn of 1974 to Spring of 1975. It was cancelled after only one season due to ratings—it spiked early, but viewers got creeped out and went to the friendlier fare of Sanford and Son. The Czar was so upset at the time that he went over to CBS’s local studios and tore them apart with his bare hands, terrifying the employees who tried to tell him that they had nothing to do with the cancellation because (a) the show was produced nationally not locally, and more importantly (b) was an ABC show.

Anyway, most of you probably do not remember it. Younger viewers shrug at the low budget effects, but miss the point of the show: atmosphere. Knowing the special effects budget consisted of even less than what Mandarin carries in his pocket, the directors used shadows, sound effects, and great sets to conceal the deficits and pile on the spook factor. Now add in the charisma of Darren McGavin and his biting sarcasm, brilliance at social engineering, and a superb supporting cast, and you wound up with some very clever shows. And the theme song is surprisingly cool.

Hollywood moguls Bob Gale and Bob Zemeckis wrote for the show, and The Sopranos David Chase cut his teeth working on it. Chris Carter struggled to produce the same feel on the partially ripped-off The X-Files, but never quite found a way to mesh the ingenuity of the show with the well-placed humor. Kolchak: The Night Stalker was exactly why the Czar never enjoyed The X-Files.

Our 9-year-old Цесаревич has seen a couple of episodes before on YouTube (which appear to be complete, except they are divided up into ten and fifteen minute slices), and has always wanted to see more. The 6-year-old Царевич has never seen even a part of one, and got hooked right away. Even the Царица herself drifted into an episode halfway through, grabbed a beef sandwich, sat down, and watched the rest and requested a couple more. She has no recollection of the show on her own, but found it surprisingly entertaining.

Not all the episodes are well-paced, and you do spot palm trees in the show’s Chicago settings, but the City appears as a full-on character itself. The Czar well remembers the Summer of 1974, when most of the stories take place, and Chicago looked exactly like that. Street names, suburbs, and neighborhoods are real and treated authentically. But the star of the show, McGavin, never turns in a bad performance as a first-rate investigative reporter forced to work at a fourth-rate newswire service who continuously finds murders that lack a logical explanation.

Watch a couple and spot actors you forgot about, or barely recognize because they were only youngsters starting out. SEE! Tom Skerritt starring as the junior US Senator from Illinois who never loses an election despite having little experience. That sounds familiar. SEE! Phil Silvers play a relatively straight role as a mensch who doubts his elderly friend was simply eaten by rats. SEE! What happens to people who cut through a funeral procession. It ain’t pretty.

Otherwise, just sit back and see. And have fun. And here come the emails!

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.