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Home→'Puter→Mandy Infringes On ‘Puter’s Sphere Of Influence

Mandy Infringes On ‘Puter’s Sphere Of Influence

The Gormogons Posted on by

As we may have mentioned before, your Gormogons have divided the nation into spheres of influence, so that we may prepare the population for the imminent return of The Thirteenth Imam (PBUH (peace be upon Huckleberry)) in our own special ways. GorT got all the tech corridors, OEV got the cities of learning, Czar got the business centers, Mandarin got all the military and agricultural areas, Dr. J got all the medical research areas and ‘Puter got the Rust Belt, including Upstate.

The others figured ‘Puter couldn’t do any more harm than to the Rust Belt than years of liberal tax and spend welfare government already have.

Imagine ‘Puter’s surprise when, while washing his hands after using the downstairs quarter-bathroom (a/k/a utility sink), he discovered Mandarin had surreptitiously infringed on ‘Puter’s territory! And, in such an offensive manner as defiling a product of the bestest supermarket known to man (Wegmans)!
If you look carefully at the hand soap container pictured above, you can clearly see that it is orange-colored and scented. Mandarin scented, as noted just beneath the image of the tangerines. That sneaky bastid. ‘Puter can’t turn his back for a moment.
It’s on, Mandy. Oh, yes. It’s on.
Posted in 'Puter, Gormogon Infighting, The Mandarin permalink

About 'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.'Puter suggests the Czar suck it.

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