You might recall the Czar’s optimism the other day when he reflected on how competitive (in the good sense) elections are getting across the nation. The unchallenged incumbent, winning election after election, now finds that he or she has not one but perhaps a few challengers—and that the challengers are all pushing for various degrees of intelligent reform, or are forcing the incumbents to take more fiscally aggressive positions.

Or you might not, which is why the Czar repeated the whole thing for you.

Anyway, the Czar got into a habit a while ago of researching his ballots well in advance, and doing a little leg-work as to who the candidates are.

In 2012, it is unusually clear cut for whom the Czar will vote in Illinois’ upcoming primary. However, there were two categories of local government positions in which the Czar and the Царица will need to “pick three” from a list of about ten candidates and “pick one” from a list of three.

You can do it the way the Czar did it many years ago: just pick whatever names appeal to you, or that you have heard of, or that you like the sound of. The Czar recommends you think twice. Spend fifteen minutes and look into their backgrounds.

For example, in the “pick three” category, the Царица spotted three candidates who were advocating small government. When asked what the main priority was, a comparison on the web of these three all said reduction of taxes. When asked what they would do to improve public transportation in the area, all three had a variation of nothing—public transportation is a business, and they ought to figure out their own solutions without government telling them how. And so on.

Meanwhile, the other candidates began to weed themselves out. One intended to maintain mutliple elected jobs at the same time. Another admitted to desiring pension money. Another wanted to expand law enforcement locally. And so forth—all admitting to wanting our money. Scratched the others off totally.

So we have our “pick three” candidates. A Google search on their names showed consistency in their answers, and also revealed nothing detrimental.

Unlike our “pick one” candidates. Of the three, one is an incumbent who has maintained his position unchallenged for over two decades. He gets re-elected, time and again, running on his name. However, due to some local re-districting, he is now subject to our votes. The Czar is always suspicious of career politicians (move up or get out), and discovered a rat’s nest of unpleasant allegations…including a falsified c.v.. The second candidate is doing his best to smear the guy, and is revealing some substantial and substantiated distasteful activities. How on earth did he get re-elected so many times? Because people simply use that first method of circling the familiar name. And this is whom you get stuck with.

Oh, the third guy? Not only an unblemished and admirable record, but opted against smearing his opponents when invited during a local debate. A thoroughly likeable guy. Why wouldn’t we vote for him?

And in fifteen minutes, we discovered four candidates who deserve to be elected and a whole bunch who should be sent packing. Sure, they’re probably decent folks for the most part who would do a pretty good job…but they aren’t the best for the job.

Here is what you can do, if you do not do this already:

1. Download your sample ballot off the web. Simply go to Google, type in your county name and sample ballot. Review your ballot and write or copy down the names that may not be familiar to you.
2. Start a new Google search, and start looking for their names. Try a search like Rustin Peace county treasurer to weed out false hits. Then start looking down the results.
3. Avoid websites that are run by the candidate—they won’t be critical—or by his or her opponents. Go for local news stories, those websites that compare the candidates on the top issues, or any source that appears to be fairly researching the backgrounds and prior claims of the candidates.
4. The easy part: start crossing off names that do not appeal to you, and you will likely wind up with one name. Google that name, and you will likely verify your expectations that this is indeed a good candidate.
5. Print off that final list and bring it with you on voting day!

Whatever you do, don’t just circle some name without knowing something about the jerk. We cannot afford that anymore.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.