The Czar, as loyal readers know, detests journalists and the media. To be fair, he detests them when they won’t do their job, which for many decades has been pretty much all the time.

Local Chicago news has been fulsomely following disgraced Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich around: they camped outside his home for hours yesterday while he rambled on and on about going to prison; they televised his entire captive audience monologue yesterday afternoon, live.

This morning, they were at the airport watching him board his plane and take off down the runway as he finally headed toward his 14-year sentence in prison.

All the time, the local news commentators keps saying comments like “You really have to admire how brave he is to face what happened to him.” Anyone with a heart-u-rod sign was interviewed. More over-comments: “This tragedy affects his family as much as it does him.”

Allow the Czar to translate for those of us on the Right: Rod is a Democrat, and what happened to him was clearly unfair. He is a victim in a broader attack on Democrats nationally, and we need to respect, remember, and admire him for his bravery.

Now allow the Czar to translate for those of you on the Left: The dude is a freaking criminal. He was fleecing the state for years, finally got caught in a brazen act of soliciting not just millions in cash but increased political power in exchange for rigging the US Senate. He was tried twice, found guilty, and he is going to prison for a length of time an independent judge (not the Republicans) decided was sufficient time for the magnitude of his crime. Blagojevich isn’t a victim. He is the bad guy. His family will suffer, but it was clear they weren’t nearly as high a priority as cash and power. Most Illinois residents knew instinctively the guy was a dim-witted bastard crook, and it turned out catching him was really simple. You need to get over yourselves and realize the Democrats, once again, got hoodwinked because they don’t think before they vote.

There’s your story. Now let’s cover Iran, Fast and Furious, or for more recent local Chicago news, how about either the Democratic Illinois Representative being arrested for pocketing a $7,000 bribe, the Democratic US Representative accepting an award from and delivering a go-get-em speech to the American Communist Party, or Democratic Cook County Commissioner William Beavers being indicted on federal tax evasion? Wait, what was all that?

That was the Czar reminding you to do your damn jobs.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.