In an effort to impress somebody associated with the White House, the City of ChIcago “volunteered” to host the G8 summit as well as the NATO summit in May. In response, protestors booked their flights early and announced a well-organized schedule of riots, window smashing, and physical violence all over the beautiful downtown.

The Chicago Police Department is caught in a bind. Publicly reassuring everyone that calm will be maintained, and that tourists will be free to spend their dollars in the city, all will be harmonious and the city will be at its best during the summits. Of course, privately, the Police Department is advising businesses and building owners throughout the Loop to get the hell out that week. Only skeleton staff should be in buildings, and they ought to bring bedding, food, and water. The financial and intellectual heart of the city will be on effective lockdown. Companies are already advising employees to schedule vacations during that week, or to work from home. You do not hear any of this of course because the White House pretty much has the whole story buried. “Worse than 1968,” is what one police officer privately predicted.

As of Monday, the G8 is not coming to Chicago; it will instead be relocated to Camp David to reduce the something-or-other and make the something more whatever. Basically, the City of Chicago cannot handle both events (the NATO summit is still on), since in addition to the protests, the expressways were to have been repeatedly shut down on a moment’s notice to handle motorcades from 40+ dignitaries all on spontaneous and private schedules.

But not to worry, Chicagoans—the protestors have assured everyone that the rioting will continue as scheduled. After all, a great deal of time, effort, and money has been spent on planning all this chaos out, and simply relocating the G8 is hardly sufficient cause to cancel the violence.

Does this sound weird to you? It should not, if you read the Big G enough. We have been documenting the Professional Lefto-Anarchist thuggery for some time. You can read a timeline here as well as catch up on an important update and and interesting extension.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.