Interoffice Memo
To: ‘Puter
From: GorT
Cc: Mandy
Re: Grenade Fishing and Solar ActivityDear ‘Puter:
You’ll be glad to know that the Mandarin and I have been able to heat up the moat so you can begin your grenade fishing activities. The moat seems well stocked and has recovered after your breakout season last year.
Unfortunately, by increasing the solar activity we’ve gotten some people all in a tizzy. Next year, we’ll just use the flamethrowers and resistance coils embedded in the moat walls.
Good fishing!
GorT
encl: population inventory of moat.xls
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.