Dear Czar,

I just happened to think of an analogy that explains why Catholics object to indirectly paying for sterilization, contraception, et al. If someone orders another person to do a crime, they are equally at fault, even though they’re only indirectly responsible; so, we don’t want to even be indirectly paying for something we object so strongly to, despite the fact that we won’t be handing someone money to buy abortifacients (excluding the poor Catholics who do actually have to pay out of their own pockets, which will likely happen if President Obama continues to be obstinate).

Anyways, I was wondering if you’d have any comments on the whole situation. I think I read somewhere that they’re opening it up for more debate or something. Personally I think it’s all for naught and they’ll just do as they like, but it would be nice to have reason to hope.

God Bless,

Operative J S

The Czar hopes he does not sound like the Mandarin here, but rather speaks bluntly: the Obama administration has zero interest in your religious beliefs.

There has been and will be no compromise, and signs already indicate that any further debate or discussion is purely for show, and that you religious types can all go screw yourselves.

To this administration, religion, and Catholicism in particular, is a small, fringe belief that exists only to keep people stupid. If you were enlightened, as the Liberals are, you would see that things are only going to be for the better. You are simply yapping dogs who need a swat in the nose.

So, no, JS—the Czar very much doubts that your First Amendment rights will be acknowledged, let alone obeyed. In fact, the only reason there will be further debate is to expose just how silly you all are, and maybe they can put a nail in the coffin of religious objection. This will be a show-trial, and you have already been found guilty of superstition. The purpose for the trial is merely to give them another platform to show Americans how wrong and backward you are.

Keep in mind Obama is running for re-election. How do you think this will go down if he wins in November? The Czar urges that all people who believe not so much in religion but in the Constitution vote Republican for every possible office in the fall. The President is exactly what the original framers feared would happen; and he is hoping that, in November, his leash is finally cut.

And if you are a liberal reader, (a) welcome, and (b) understand that it isn’t so much what the President believes or what you hold dear, but how he has done it that disqualifies him for reelection.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.