JAB writes in from the Doublewide:

Please pardon my inattention as I’ve let my duties lapse… {bad minion…} However, it has come to my attention that Mr.”Mittens” Romney pretends to be a fan of the late Mr. Davey Crockett. 

Embarassingly enough, he has managed to demonstrate both his ignorance of Mr. Davy Crockett [see quote] and his ignorance of modern-day Tennesseans in the very same film clip. To whit—-he recited the song from the Fess Parker television show as his way of “interacting” with us natives. He seems to believe that most of us Tennesseans would relate to him in a PERSONAL JESUS-kinda way if he just recited the lyrics, including “…..Killt him a Bar when he wuz only Three….” 

Now, speaking for all those of us who have failed [i.e. not managed] to have “killt” us a “Bar” when we “wuz” only 3 [or what ever age] …. 

RASPBERRIES ….IN EXCELSIUS 

MORON 

yo, MR. MITTENS…MAN’ O’ VOX POPULI: 

I just voted for one of your opponents simply because you are such a gigantic fool. 

You don’t deserve my vote! 

You appear at a rally in Tennessee in 2012 [anno Domine] and quote a TV show from DECADES AGO?????? 

REALLY??? 

DUDE???? Like we ain’t got us no TV shows wha ain’t got folks “warin'” coon-skin caps???  

yeesshhh 

yours from the Doublewide, 

JAB

Dear JAB,

We’re going to have to cut back on the ma-huang tea, just a wee bit…we don’t want to have a stroke or anything.

While it is clear that my man Mittens was showing his out-of-touch-with-the-common-man bonafides, something he and Dr. J. chuckle about over Arnold Palmer’s at the club, with his being a de-caf Arnold Palmer, to be clear, the issue with paying homage to Congressman Crockett is not that it is only that it plays to a flyover stereotype of the great state of Tennessee, which he lost yesterday, but it gives Dr. J. pause regarding his fiscal willpower.

You see, the great state of Tennessee has a proud history of being a ‘right-center’ state. With exceptions, the Democrats don’t tend to be crazy progressives. Similarly, there are very few fire in the belly conservatives, especially from East Tennessee. Indeed our current senators, Alexander and Corker, and our governor, Haslan are not the most conservative leaders. Retired Senator Frist, a very likable gentleman, is no right-wing firebrand despite the screams and rending of shirts by the left during the time he lead the Senate. Indeed. Dr. J. almost wonders if former Governor Bredesen is more right leaning than Haslan.

But he digresses. The first Republican RINO from the great state of Tennessee was none other than Davy, Davy Crockett, king of the It’s-for-teh-chiltrunz frontier.

So the story goes, while he was in Congress, there was a fire in Georgetown which resulted in the displacement of several families and a couple of contraception clinics (oh no he didn’t, oh yes he did). Congress appropriated $20,000 to help those families.

When he returned to the Volunteer state, he got an earful from one of his constituents, Farmer Bunce over the issue. He lost the citizen’s vote, but not the election, and was more circumspect in future votes.

He subsequently left congress to help Texas in their war of independence where he died at the Alamo defending Pee Wee Herman’s bicycle from a horde of Mexican solders.

So my old chum Mittens picked a tax and spend RINO who tacked right to keep his job in Washington.

So long as Mittens learns from the Congressman Crockett and tacks rightward, we might be OK.

Thanks for writing in!

Dr. J.